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How Did You Sleep Last Night?

My sleep has fallen apart again, and I really am struggling with sleeping. I had a nightmare that I was about to be burnt alive, I had been made to practise and practise to be in the position of being burnt alive., but I thought I am going to wake myself up from this dream. And I did wake myself up from the dream.
 
My sleep has been awful since this started. Without a nightmare I pretty much wake up at 3am every day. I roll around, trying to go back to sleep but most times I get up after an hour or so and I stay up and go to work around 7. With a nightmare, depending when I wake up I'm usually up from then on. I really miss sleeping, I'm so tired now.
 
I had one of the worst nightmares I've experienced in a long time. I relived multiple years of sexual trauma in one dream (kind of a "life-flashing-before-your-eyes" type of thing), and woke up in a panic. Then I sort of laid in bed half-asleep for an hour, wondering if it was all really happening or not. As a result, I've been in kind of an irritable, territorial mood all day.
 
Last night I had a terrible night terror (which I just found a term for, thanks google). I have them off and on and I think my trigger might be dysfunction/instability in my relationships.

The night terror involved a recurring nightmare with me trying to call 911 to avert danger to myself and others and I’m unable to type in the numbers correctly. Or the call doesn’t go through. This is based off of a real memory, but tends to completely vary plot line wise with this as the central theme.

I remember thrashing around and feeling intense fear, screaming, waking up nearly paralyzed with fear and emotional pain. It’s really added to my whole feeling of being down in the dumps.
 
Went back to nightmares again last night for the first time in a month i think. Kicked the wall hard enough to dent the plaster and then fell off the bed and woke up
 
It's now 2.47 am.... yes, I am counting the minutes. I have to be up in 4 hrs and 13 minutes.... Now 4 hr 12 minutes.
When I sleep I replay pieces in my dreams, then wake up with my heart pounding, head racing and trying to breathe... and back to watching the clock. I've not slept yet tonight. This is a regular thing.
I must turn off and try to sleep.. now 4hrs 5 minutes until my alarm.
 
5 consecutive nights of real sleep, I feel that I have turned that corner. My view is that the meds interfered with the process for a long time. Back a few months, before I shed the meds, I slept 10 hours, mostly dreamless, woke up stupid and rarely got up to speed. I have grown enough to deal with the symptoms, yes some are on the prowl, but I see them for what they are and so far able to deal with them. Dream pattern is still a bit wonky, expecting it to balance out over time.
 
Have trouble falling asleep the last days, my mind is racing.
The heat is going to drive me crazy because my (ms) symptoms increase when my body heats up, and I am so anxious that I am forced to go back to hospital again…
Nightmares still haunting me.
 
I can’t sleep! Anxiety is surging through my body. Took some Benadryl but that just means I’ll have a sleep hangover.

Crazy lady in McDonald’s went off on me because I wouldn’t let her use my phone. I told her I don’t let strangers use my phone and she flipped out and said I was the rudest person she’d ever met. Hardly, lol, I was assertive, not rude. I don’t make a habit of handing people I don’t know $450 worth of electronics lol. And no, it wasn’t an emergency. I’m not that cruel.
 
I tend to have a lot of scary nightmares, involving something happening inside my house. Demons, anything scary or lights busting or being followed or dolls floating. This isn't even related to my abuse at all. It's just scary nightmares and now I'm okay sleeping through them, yet I always seem to remember them when I wake up. So I don't have too much trouble sleeping, it's just getting to sleep that's the problem cause I sometimes fear my abuser is peering in through the windows when in reality I know he's not. It's just my anxiety and being jumpy and frightened.

I know all of this is common and normal when you going through something traumatic. So I keep the TV on through out the night and it helps me a lot and if I get too freaked out I leave a light on. I might get a bulb for my lava lamp so I can keep it on during the night. I was never afraid of the dark, but now the darkness freaks me out beyond belief.
 
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