• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

ED Disordered eating

Status
Not open for further replies.
So today I have really wanted to comfort eat at different times. I have kept delaying. I also went out and did things. I also did other distraction techniques. I went to the local Buddhist temple for a meditation. I might go out for another walk. I will go to the temple tonight for another meditation. It is really hard, but I am more here.

I had a nice chat at the temple with another woman.
 
I know that you sometimes do not feel you are doing enough but @Living in the 70s I think you are a trail-blazer. I have certainly learned from you as you zero in on something you'd like to work on and have such massive resourcefulness and strength to support yourself to get there. I see you liberating yourself... my heartfelt respect to you.
 
So I am continually making the decision not to eat more and numb out. I am trying to focus on self compassion.
 
I have certainly learned from you as you zero in on something you'd like to work on and have such massive resourcefulness and strength to support yourself to get there. I see you liberating yourself... my heartfelt respect to you.
Thanks @NinjaWolf I am so terribly slow. I am going so terribly slow, but I will take in what you are saying. I am doing it, and that is what matters.
 
You really aren't slow I don't think @Living in the 70s . And even if you could be going faster, we take and do as much as we can handle. That threshold changes so occasionally it speeds up, other times it'll slow down. This is solid and stable work you are doing. Quality work. And so much happens beneath the surface. Hugs.
 
So I was totally overwhelmed yesterday, so I said to myself that I could comfort eat last night when I got home. I really struggled yesterday, but mostly I stayed with it. I did have a limit to my comfort eating, so that is an improvement. So much of my self soothing and self comfort is food related, so I am needing to address this on a deeper level. I am really struggling with being present in this now, my mind throws a lot at me, dissociation, derealisation, depersonalisation, maladjusted daydreaming or food related issues, but I really am starting to get there with chipping away tiny bit by bit. It is a struggle but I am on the path now.
 
I am really finding it hard to shift from the eating to other self soothing things, such as different practices and activities. That is what I have been working on really hard, but it is still going very slowly. I am not able to ground myself yet, it is a goal.

Not doing well with eating this morning.

My eating has fallen to pieces this morning.
 
Last edited:
Challenging my not belonging/belonging issues on Sunday led to a big blowout. I also spoke to too many challenging family members. I also am totally overwhelmed! So not doing so badly today. It is hard. Because once you stop doing the eating, all these issues come up, and that is really tough going. I am finding it really ever so hard. I am doing my best but really it is hard.

So I put on a 1.3 kilos at weigh in today, which after the last two days does not surprise me. I didn't go as far as I would have used to, so much better overall. Not doing so well.

I got caught out today with a double size portion whilst out. I find it impossible to do portion sizes whilst I am in a social situation. I just eat. So next time I will get them to cut it in half, so I can take half home.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I really struggled with eating last night. So I had a microwaved stewed hot apple, which was good, and a slice of chocolate mudcake, which I don't usually like but it was a version from the vegan bakery. Anyway I did stop eating after that, so that was good. I didn't do this well on Sunday and Monday. But overall incremental improvements in my behaviours. I am being less reactive.

I have the impulse to eat most of the time to numb and/or soothe myself.

I am crawling out of my skin with anxiety at the moment. It feels really crappy.

I just have to practise not comfort eating all the time. It will take time to change over.
 
My psychiatrist said it is a big change that I have chosen to make with my eating, and for now being with that change is maybe all I can do during a day.

I talked in therapy, about I needing to do two minute breathing sessions throughout the day.

I also need to focus on letting this change of eating become a new habit in my life.
 
It is time to consolidate my new eating skills, and this is what I can manage at this time. I am learning how to not be numbed by food. I am learning how to not comfort eat during the day. I am also improving a lot at night. I had a couple of salada biscuits last night (two sheets of four), and a couple of dates. That is a magnificent improvement in terms of night terror eating with fear of rape. The fear of rape is not ruling me as much anymore. So that is a significant improvement.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top