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Struggling With Doing/understanding Emdr In Sessions...

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Briellewannabe

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I did my second EMDR session (after the taking the history session) today. I'm having a hard time visualizing/doing what the T is saying. Like, the first time she wanted to work on the old rules I used to live by (long story), but she had me imagine I was in a bubble outside of time, and I was telling my younger self that I didn't need to do this, or that, etc. I found this extremely hard as I don't do well with abstract thought, and I told her this.

Today, we targeted nightmares I get. But in the same way, she had me imagine telling myself that I'm safe, or fighting someone off, or having someone come in and fight it off... but none of that happened in my actual experience or my nightmares, and I found it difficult to even attempt doing as instructed. It's not that I have a problem doing it, but I struggle to even comprehend the super vague and visual world other than my actual memories or dreams.

Is this pretty typical of EMDR? Changing your memories or something? I guess I assumed it would be retelling what happened while the vibrators went off in my hands, but it's very different. I'm wondering if this would work if I can't quite think in that abstract way, or if I'm purposely trying to sabotage myself... I don't know. I feel like I'm not doing it right and that I'm not sure how to do it.

I mentioned a little to my new T (I still see my original T for talk-therapy) that I'm not getting it, but she doesn't seemed to be bothered by it. Do you think it still is working even if I don't feel like I'm doing it right? Does anyone struggle with this? Any tips?
 
I did my second EMDR session (after the taking the history session) today. I'm having a hard tim...

Yep this is typical. At least for me. It's not as traumatic if you picture yourself out of the scene. You're distancing yourself. For instance I'm working on sexual abuse by my parents.....I am trying to watch it as if it's a movie-I can stop, start, pause at anytime. I can send it police if I want. (That didn't happen) Regardless your brain is processing the trauma or whatever. It feels weird and doesn't make sense but it works.
 
I just want to thank you for posting this and the responses past and coming - I just started EMDR and I chose not to learn TOO much about it but learn as I go so I don't get too in my head, but I also feel a little lost sometimes.

Please keep sharing so I can learn as you do!
 
My experience with EMDR for my CPTSD (mainly from childhood abuse starting over 52 years ago) was very dramatic! on my first session. (many followed after)
I shared this analogy with my Specialist! in; EMDR Therapy. (meaning I was a motivated client and fortunate to find his caliber of therapy)

"Think of me as an old vinyl phonograph record that has developed a very bad scratch in it, (my dissociative withdrawing from everything in life episodes) and I'd get stuck, playing it over and over until I get a shove; Then seemingly normal for a while, until the cycle repeats from a trigger.
Like magic, EMDR has repaired the scratch and actually plays better than before."

Only 4 weeks into it.
Buck
 
I did my second EMDR session (after the taking the history session) today. I'm having a hard tim...

Ok I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who's super confused with the whole abstract concept of EMDR. I'm in a similar situation with having one therapist for EMDR/trauma focused work, and one for talk therapy. I feel like I ask the EMDR therapist "what do you mean?" all the time or just say "I have no idea what you mean by that." She does well to explain, etc and does not seem at all phased by the fact that I have no idea how to answer some really simple questions. Good luck! Let me know if things start to improve, which I'm hopeful that they will!
 
My experience with EMDR for my CPTSD (mainly from childhood abuse starting over 52 years ago) was very dra...

That's good you're finding it helpful. Does it make sense as you're going through it though? I know EMDR is very successful, I just find myself so unsure what's going on or what I'm supposed to be doing.
 
I totally understand the way you feel. I've been doing EMDR for almost two months now and while I do have some improvement with my initial issue it's brought up so much old baggage that I'm actually feeling worse. I have no idea if I'm doing it right all I keep doing is remembering old crap memories and going from one to another and we start all over again the next time. I hear about people who or cured or feel better after 3 or 4 sessions and I just don't know how that's possible. My T says that the more trauma you had in your life the longer it will take. I don't know I keep hoping. I'm curious to hear other people's reactions to EMDR that didn't have those happy results in three or four sessions.
 
I'm curious to hear other people's reactions to EMDR that didn't have those happy results in three or four sessions.

Can anyone provide their experience with EMDR as referenced above? Sorry to dig out an old thread I am just really curious what people have to say and nobody replied to the previous message :(
 
Hi Butters,

I stopped EMDR after about 5-6 sessions because it appeared to be making things worse. Although after session 3-4 my T dialed it down a lot, overall EMDR seemed to increase my anxiety and increase my suicidal thoughts. Unfortunately for me it just wasn't helpful.
 
Can anyone provide their experience with EMDR as referenced above? Sorry to dig out an old thread I am just really cur...
I have done a lot of it with good success but it was hard.. Really hard. My emdr didn't go like the original poster. I focused on my story and went through it with bilateral movements until the story line became more distant and not as triggering. It's hard to focus and sometimes my mind wanders but I can usually take a minute and jump back in. I hope this helps.
 
I did EMDR in the standard sort of way about one particular "target" memory. It was really confusing and I had a terrible time providing my T with the assessment of how my activation was on a scale of 1-10. I kind of hated the process, and then I kept switching, and started destabilizing overall. So, we changed course and left off working on the traumatic memories for "now" (that was a year ago). Now we're using the EMDR to solidify things like safe places for my parts, or to reinforce some positive feelings that have happened. We're working on the trauma stuff in a different way. EMDR can be super effective and quick for single event trauma, but it is much trickier for complex trauma. It has to be slowed way down (fractionated), or even stopped until the person has more ability to be with the traumatized part's experience without getting hijacked by that part, and/or without dissociating into an intellectual part, or just shutting down altogether. Like everything else in this gaggingly miserable world of trauma sequelae, it takes a LOT of patience and persistence on the part of both the client and the therapist. Don't give up altogether--it is one of the best researched and most effective approaches to healing. It's just that the standard protocols don't fit every person.
 
Ah yes...EMDR....it is a love hate relationship. These are my thoughts and reactions to it. First off, it is like trying to rub your head in one direction, rubbing your tummy in another, while trying to concentrate on a trauma event. With each short eye-movement session, one time I can be dizzy, the next sick to my stomach, then angry, then nothing, then I want to run away, then the next I want to dissociate. There does not seem to be any rhyme or reason to it, so far. It has taken about four sessions and a long talk with the T explaining the process, expectations, and his focus on it to finally sorta "get it". It is really hard to feel comfortable with it since I am a person who likes explanations, rules, directions, boundaries, order when it comes to learning. This is a bit loosey-goosey for me. But, it seems to stir up emotions and afterward, thoughts, memories, emotions are pretty active. I do have to distract my head afterward and I find an audio book is my way to relax my brain.
 
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