lostforgottensoul
MyPTSD Pro
Sorry to post again guys. I'm doing my best to navigate this but I thought this needed it's own thread.
I have been on the search on how to save back some money and came to the conclusion that I needed some help with buying food. I sent in an application to Second Harvest food bank. The biggest food bank in the area. They emailed me back two churches to call that apparently give out food. Churches are HUGE triggers. I grew up in a religious cult. The last time I was in a church my dad had to come with and I was disocciated the entire time and have no memory of even being there. I would disocciate on the drive over and made a scene many times. Second Harvest food bank isn't a church and I was doing my best to avoid churches and now I'm forced to face the biggest one...call and go in one.
I have a service dog in training, Chopper, and that helps. There is no way on this green earth I could do that alone. I'm afraid I'd disocciate on the way there and end up crashing my car. But even with Chopper, I don't know that I can do it. Sucking it up and just doing it isn't going to cut it I don't think. I'm in a complete panic just thinking about calling them. I don't even know how to suck it up enough to call.
God, I'm trying so hard but everywhere I turn it's not hard enough. How do I manage these f*cking triggers? I'm sure that with Chopper being there and being trained to react to disocciation I won't disocciate so deeply like I used to but I don't even know how to put one foot out to start putting one foot in front of the other.
I'm sorry I'm being a baby. I feel like a useless piece of shit at the moment. I don't know anyone here and my dad won't be willing to help me with this. Any ideas on even just calling them?
I have been on the search on how to save back some money and came to the conclusion that I needed some help with buying food. I sent in an application to Second Harvest food bank. The biggest food bank in the area. They emailed me back two churches to call that apparently give out food. Churches are HUGE triggers. I grew up in a religious cult. The last time I was in a church my dad had to come with and I was disocciated the entire time and have no memory of even being there. I would disocciate on the drive over and made a scene many times. Second Harvest food bank isn't a church and I was doing my best to avoid churches and now I'm forced to face the biggest one...call and go in one.
I have a service dog in training, Chopper, and that helps. There is no way on this green earth I could do that alone. I'm afraid I'd disocciate on the way there and end up crashing my car. But even with Chopper, I don't know that I can do it. Sucking it up and just doing it isn't going to cut it I don't think. I'm in a complete panic just thinking about calling them. I don't even know how to suck it up enough to call.
God, I'm trying so hard but everywhere I turn it's not hard enough. How do I manage these f*cking triggers? I'm sure that with Chopper being there and being trained to react to disocciation I won't disocciate so deeply like I used to but I don't even know how to put one foot out to start putting one foot in front of the other.
I'm sorry I'm being a baby. I feel like a useless piece of shit at the moment. I don't know anyone here and my dad won't be willing to help me with this. Any ideas on even just calling them?