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General The closer we get, the less he trusts me...

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Love my guy

Together 7 years, married 1 1/2. Why is it that the closer we are emotionally, the less he trusts me? I understand the WHY in general. In childhood and young adulthoid, the people closest to him, were the ones who abused him and weren't trustworthy. The odd thing is, he has broken my trust multiple times, and I have done NOTHING to deserve his mistrust over all of our years together. In fact, in the beginning of our relationship , when we were just getting to know each other, he seemed to blindly trust me. Odd. Other than consistantly being trustworthy and supportive through the rollercoaster of cptsd, is there anything else i could be doing to earn his trust? Any sufferers out there with any advice for me? He is getting no treatment at the moment and is resistant to the idea . I am getting counseling as a supporter .
 
hi, I am currently suffering from cptsd, it has taken me 3 years since leaving the military to eventually seek help. You're partner is obviously still on constant edge as per say I know the feeling and he will feel as if getting help is showing weakness which the military drill into us. I have suffered cptsd for 7years now but never sought help as it would be a sign of weakness. You're partner needs you to be there for him a nd not push him to talk. I know exactly what he is going through and if he or you needs someone talk to please feel free to email me as I would feel honoured to help another vet get through the process.
 
@Graeme henderson - Hi and welcome to the forums.

Just to clear up any confusion - C-PTSD refers to Complex PTSD from childhood trauma not Combat PTSD.

In my personal view there are aspects of combat PTSD which differ from non-combat PTSD due to the training and military culture. There are a lot of veterans and veterans' supporters here. (My partner is a vet with PTSD.) Please stick around and explore the forums.
 
Love my guy, I think you are doing pretty well to understand what you do. Sadly I think there is only so much you can do. As a sufferer I would say say consistency, calmness are helpful but in order for this to change he needs to get professional help and you aren't going to be able to do that. Sometimes setting limits can be helpful to both parties.
If it helps I find it fairly easy being authentic with those who aren't the closest to me. The closer the more dangerous. Its very annoying for all concerned. Welcome.
 
I fully understand both types of ptsd, my last three psychiatrist have confirmed there are signs of cptsd due to child hood traumas and there is combat ptsd from my tour of Afghanistan due to things that had occured whilst on tour and situation I was faced with.
 
What types of things does he not trust you with? Did he trust you with those exact things at the beginning of your relationship?
 
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