Freida
MyPTSD Pro
ok.....I want this to come across as supportive -- so if I screw it up please forgive me :):):chicken: but I have a couple people in my life who are just like this.But she bought me food, so that’ll have to act like an apology because it would be childish to expect perfect respect 100% of time, even if I think I deserve it
Sometimes people simply can't apologize. It's not part of their make up. It doesn't make them bad or good people because they may feel bad or sorry. They don't know how to say it. It's the same with respect. Sometimes they can't find the words. So instead they try to show you by their actions. They bring food, or they compliment what you are wearing even though you know they hate that outfit, or they mow your grass or blah blah. Then it's up to us to decide - is this an apology? Are they behaving this way because they want to make it better? Or do they feel guilty? well -- if they feel guilty then we know they know they were wrong and they feel bad.
The problem is that it leaves us to decide -- is this enough? Do we need the words "I'm sorry" or can we accept the repentance of attention? I don't always have the answer when it happens to me.... but sometimes if I look at it as a wordless apology it can make me feel better about how they acted and I can forgive them.