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The uncertainty of relationships

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People are temporary. At some point in time they fade out or there is some fall out. It's usually some sort of argument and then you never see them again and if you do its weird. I don't have a relationship with my family. My mom died, my dad is dead to me, and my sibling is a nut. I am married but he doesn't have family so reality is my friends are my family. But, I know they have their own families. And, people can walk away from friendships more easily than they walk away from family relationships. It just makes me realize that people are really just temporary and it makes me sad. Eventually they all leave...
 
Hi Grit,

I've struggled with the same. I don't know if my sense of relationships was deeper than the other person because I didn't have family? Probably.

I saw the same, folks seemed to gravitate back to their primary family unit.

Looking back I wish I had spent more time cultivating friendships. I assumed the key ones I had were permanent. Big mistake, I had a busy career and there was a "stall" in my new friendship making etc.

I'm not sure if there is a fix but I wish I had put more effort into this earlier, I needed to make my "own" friends, like after a breakup you lose the partner friends etc. Should have put myself first in this regard.

I am now.

Take care,

Whirlwind
 
I feel like this too.
I wonder if it is a part of PTSD? Because in trauma we know things can change from one minute to the next? I don't know.
I feel friendship wise and relationship wise, I'm very lucky. But I still think: this can all end.
And I live my life being prepared for it. Did a pre-nup with my partner. We don't share finances. In the 16 years we've been together, we have bought 4 items together. Everything else is either owned by her or me. So if we split up, it will reduce the heartache of working out who gets what.
In a funny sense (warped PTSD brain sense??) that gives me comfort.

But equally, you know what? We can't spend our time worrying about what the future may or may not provide. What may or may not happen in friendships and relationships. Because where there is the possibility or loss, there is also the possibility of beautiful gains. Of hope. Of love.
 
Does it bother you the other way around? That you leave other people’s lives, or just when they leave yours?
Worse when they leave, but both ways... I don't leave often. You really have to screw the pooch for that to happen but if it does I do feel badly.

I wonder if it is a part of PTSD?
Possibly.. I just believe people are temporary and I do live life feeling/knowing they won't be around forever. I guess I am just technically waiting on them to leave and never really enjoying the fact they are here now.... so bad...
 
I'm sorry you're struggling with this. I can kind of relate as I've lost my only brother and dad, mom makes irrational decisions that I just can't really take anymore. My best friend is my sister for all intense purposes. My husband is my all the things he's supposed to be - friend, confidant, lover, supporter, etc. So in that I am most blessed. As for other friends, yes, they do come and go. I've decided that in life's infinite wisdom, they served their purpose for that time in my life journey. Be grateful for those around you, grieve those who are no longer there, and keep making new friends. Prayers for wisdom and peace.
 
Im afraid of my trauma. therapist ending our therapy sessions. I know its gonna happen at some point. Even though it seems bad I feel like just shutting her out completely. And even though she's said we're no where near the end of therapy I've been searching left and right for trauma and ptsd on the internet
 
I have friends, but the relationships seem to be stalled and frozen from a moment. So it is with family. Had cut contact several times. Had friends very dear of mine that disappeared or ghosted me. It's painful. I'm now afraid if anything becomes meaningful, it also gets trickier. I have a distance. When I get closer all sorts of stupid shit happens, I struggle to keep things balanced. I lack the sense of progress but access depth quite fast when it clicks. A bit 0 or 1. I'm okay with that. Things come and go. Just a bit scared to be alone when I'll die. But I guess I still have time to prepare.
 
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