No one can just sit with me in these feelings except my therapist. I already see her twice a week but I feel so alone in between. Even my partner just gets really overwhelmed hearing about my abuse. My life, my memories, they make people uncomfortable. I just want someone who listens without running away or shutting down or trying to "tactfully" change the subject.
I was never allowed to feel as a child. I was never allowed to have needs, to cry, to be hurt or sick. I was just told I was "fine", and then yelled at for being so selfish. I so badly want to believe that the whole world isnt that way, that there are people who really would listen to me and believe me and love me. But every time I end up reaching out, I regret it. I think they must hate me, must be annoyed by me, they want to shut up and go away.
I just want someone to hear my stories and say, that f*cking sucks. I am so sorry. That must have been really hard. No one should have treated you that way. I love you. Its going to be okay.
I was never allowed to feel as a child. I was never allowed to have needs, to cry, to be hurt or sick. I was just told I was "fine", and then yelled at for being so selfish. I so badly want to believe that the whole world isnt that way, that there are people who really would listen to me and believe me and love me. But every time I end up reaching out, I regret it. I think they must hate me, must be annoyed by me, they want to shut up and go away.
I just want someone to hear my stories and say, that f*cking sucks. I am so sorry. That must have been really hard. No one should have treated you that way. I love you. Its going to be okay.