mystic_moonlight
New Here
Hi everyone,
I'm new to this forum. This is my first time posting. At the beginning of 2019, I experienced a major Big T trauma. At the time, I was interviewing for graduate programs in neuroscience. In addition, I was also attending and running conferences in February, March, and April of that year, as well as planning a wedding for one of my siblings. As a consequence, I never took the time to slow down and rest after the trauma happened. I was constantly busy and stressed all the time.
Long story short, I got into graduate school (Yay!) and I moved across the country in August 2019 to attend graduate school in neuroscience. When I first started, I was really motivated and excited. But I was still having flashbacks frequently, and I began having depressive episodes. These episodes would usually last 3-4 days at a time and then clear up. Then, around October 2020, I got severe bronchitis. I have asthma, so it was exacerbated by that. I had to go to the ER, and I very nearly died while there. Fortunately, I recovered physically relatively quickly. But after that happened, I burned out. Hard. I haven't been able to get ANY work done since October of last year, and I'm seriously falling behind in grad school. Now, I frequently have depressive episodes, and they last longer, sometimes weeks. I'm stressed out by not being able to get appropriate work done, but a huge part of me doesn't care at all. I'm really struggling, and I'm really scared I'm not gonna be able to get a PhD and fulfill my career goals. I feel like I have flashbacks, psychosomatic tension/distress, and crying all the time.
Does anyone have any tips on how to get things done even when you can't concentrate? I struggle because the work is conceptually very challenging, and it feels like I have no capacity to concentrate at all. Also: I'm currently in therapy working on my trauma. I'm seriously starting to consider medication, but I can't seem to bring myself to try it. Like, I feel like I should be able to push through without it.
I'm new to this forum. This is my first time posting. At the beginning of 2019, I experienced a major Big T trauma. At the time, I was interviewing for graduate programs in neuroscience. In addition, I was also attending and running conferences in February, March, and April of that year, as well as planning a wedding for one of my siblings. As a consequence, I never took the time to slow down and rest after the trauma happened. I was constantly busy and stressed all the time.
Long story short, I got into graduate school (Yay!) and I moved across the country in August 2019 to attend graduate school in neuroscience. When I first started, I was really motivated and excited. But I was still having flashbacks frequently, and I began having depressive episodes. These episodes would usually last 3-4 days at a time and then clear up. Then, around October 2020, I got severe bronchitis. I have asthma, so it was exacerbated by that. I had to go to the ER, and I very nearly died while there. Fortunately, I recovered physically relatively quickly. But after that happened, I burned out. Hard. I haven't been able to get ANY work done since October of last year, and I'm seriously falling behind in grad school. Now, I frequently have depressive episodes, and they last longer, sometimes weeks. I'm stressed out by not being able to get appropriate work done, but a huge part of me doesn't care at all. I'm really struggling, and I'm really scared I'm not gonna be able to get a PhD and fulfill my career goals. I feel like I have flashbacks, psychosomatic tension/distress, and crying all the time.
Does anyone have any tips on how to get things done even when you can't concentrate? I struggle because the work is conceptually very challenging, and it feels like I have no capacity to concentrate at all. Also: I'm currently in therapy working on my trauma. I'm seriously starting to consider medication, but I can't seem to bring myself to try it. Like, I feel like I should be able to push through without it.