My Truth :)
New Here
I am a 49 year old woman and have struggled with mental health issues since my mid teens as it was then that something was up; this was in the form of what I thought was Social Anxiety. However, after researching it I couldn't identify with all the symptoms as they weren't always an issue - I seemed to happen at certain times or get triggered by certain people - mainly women.
My childhood was particularly traumatic as my mother used to go into these unpredictable rages for no apparent reason (not apparent to me as a child). My younger brothers and I were continually walking on eggshells and trying to appease her. It was a horrible, cold time and very, very lonely. I am also certain that my mum has been gaslighting me for years and playing on my insecurities - mainly in relating to other people. I have been diagnosed with Borderline PD after an admission in Pysch Hosp but again can't relate to all of the symptoms. So it is with my childhood experiences that I believe that I may have Cptsd, albeit a minor form.
I had an experience with my mum back in November 2017 where she revealed a side of her that was dark and terrifying and whilst it validated my experiences as a child (after years of believing that I was a 'wrongun') it has knocked me sideways; it also led me to wonder if my mum had an undiagnosed mental health disorder. She has since been diagnosed but has remained secretive about telling me the diagnosis. I made a choice to go no contact last year for several reasons and have felt better in myself for taking control of my side of the road; although I haven't made it official by telling her. I am currently on a twelve step programme. I would like to learn more about CPtsd, after reading the really good book by Pete Walker and so here I am...
My childhood was particularly traumatic as my mother used to go into these unpredictable rages for no apparent reason (not apparent to me as a child). My younger brothers and I were continually walking on eggshells and trying to appease her. It was a horrible, cold time and very, very lonely. I am also certain that my mum has been gaslighting me for years and playing on my insecurities - mainly in relating to other people. I have been diagnosed with Borderline PD after an admission in Pysch Hosp but again can't relate to all of the symptoms. So it is with my childhood experiences that I believe that I may have Cptsd, albeit a minor form.
I had an experience with my mum back in November 2017 where she revealed a side of her that was dark and terrifying and whilst it validated my experiences as a child (after years of believing that I was a 'wrongun') it has knocked me sideways; it also led me to wonder if my mum had an undiagnosed mental health disorder. She has since been diagnosed but has remained secretive about telling me the diagnosis. I made a choice to go no contact last year for several reasons and have felt better in myself for taking control of my side of the road; although I haven't made it official by telling her. I am currently on a twelve step programme. I would like to learn more about CPtsd, after reading the really good book by Pete Walker and so here I am...
Last edited by a moderator: