Supporter of a Marine Vet here. Major PTSD And Moral Injury. We've been together 3.5 years. We're back in the dark place- "I don't really love him" If I don't answer a text within 3 minutes- because I know he's struggling and I should be there right when he needs me. "I don't really love him" If I don't stay up ALL night with him- because how can I sleep when I know he's hurting (he'll go 3-4 days with no sleep).
I have a reason for everything- I didn't look at my phone because I work in restaurant, or I was doing laundry, or throwing the ball for my dog. I can't stay up all night because I need sleep to function the next day- for work and my own mental health.
I understand my life is not going to be "normal" with him. I'm going to have to give a little, just like anyone else in any relationship. But I feel like I am changing as a person to be with the man I love. I can't make plans with friends in case he's having a bad day, and my work and social life is fading. It seems all of his PTSD stems from our relationship now, and not from war. Have I become his downfall?
It's a constant battle in my head- are my reasons legit, or just excuses that I should adapt and change for the man who would do anything for me?
I have a reason for everything- I didn't look at my phone because I work in restaurant, or I was doing laundry, or throwing the ball for my dog. I can't stay up all night because I need sleep to function the next day- for work and my own mental health.
I understand my life is not going to be "normal" with him. I'm going to have to give a little, just like anyone else in any relationship. But I feel like I am changing as a person to be with the man I love. I can't make plans with friends in case he's having a bad day, and my work and social life is fading. It seems all of his PTSD stems from our relationship now, and not from war. Have I become his downfall?
It's a constant battle in my head- are my reasons legit, or just excuses that I should adapt and change for the man who would do anything for me?