HealingMama
MyPTSD Pro
Some trauma I know about. The last few days it seems possible that my cousin molested me based on some things happening in therapy. However, I don't know for sure. I don't want to ask him. I have had what seems to be body memories and intrusive images that are sexual in nature and his name popped into my head while I was doing parts work and I had a felt sense of being suffocated when these graphic images came into my mind.
He comes from a pretty trashy family. My maternal aunts were not healthy people and didn't have healthy families. One allowed her child to be molested by her father and took his side when he went to jail. The other (mother to the cousin in question) I honestly don't know as much except that they don't have a great reputation, and struggle with addiction.
I have been sex positive most of my life since puberty but with my husband shortly after we got married I had a lot of problems with dissociating during sex or he would leave the room and when he came back I'd feel like a different person. It was confusing and exhausting. And honestly before that I was kinda playing the field avoidantly without being truly invested in anybody, and was numb in my body all the time.
How do you address symptoms that you don't know what they are related to? How do you cope with not knowing one way or another? How do I trust my mind to be giving me what it needs to heal even if it's making something up?
He comes from a pretty trashy family. My maternal aunts were not healthy people and didn't have healthy families. One allowed her child to be molested by her father and took his side when he went to jail. The other (mother to the cousin in question) I honestly don't know as much except that they don't have a great reputation, and struggle with addiction.
I have been sex positive most of my life since puberty but with my husband shortly after we got married I had a lot of problems with dissociating during sex or he would leave the room and when he came back I'd feel like a different person. It was confusing and exhausting. And honestly before that I was kinda playing the field avoidantly without being truly invested in anybody, and was numb in my body all the time.
How do you address symptoms that you don't know what they are related to? How do you cope with not knowing one way or another? How do I trust my mind to be giving me what it needs to heal even if it's making something up?