Alice Hindman
New Here
It has been over 8 years since I got out of my abusive relationship and I am objectively doing well in life. But emotionally it has been a slow time and 8 years after my partner tried to kill when he tried to stab me to death, I still find myself triggered very easily when thinking about how my university handled the situation.
At first they pretended to be there for me and told me they would give me access to counseling. But then they turned the situation around on me and charged me with disorderly conduct for making a scene and abuse because I scratched him in the process.
The campus police that handled the case because a neighbor called them, took him to jail but kept the weapon off the police report to prevent the case from being a felony reportable by the college. When I told the title x coordinator he said he tried to stab me to death because he accused me on cheating on him because that is what abusive partners do, she responded with “well did you?” They cut me off from counseling, held a trial for me where they suspended me, made me have police escorts and embarrassed me. I was in a seriously deadly situation and they just tried to get rid of me and limit their liability.
The title x coordinator was very combative. While they admitted to a degree that my partner was the problem by automatically expelling him they gaslight me and told me I need to consider how to be a better citizen and not burden people. This was after I spent a week in the hospital from an almost successful suicide attempt and then another week in the hospital after the assault. I told them I had no family and no where to go and got kicked out of my dorm, my on campus job, and anything I had when I was suspended. I had to stay with people that made me feel unsafe and move back in with my abusive partner who I had to flee on the greyhound while he worked to another state to get away from him. He stalked me for 2 years after I left him and threatened my daily and harassed me after I left. I couldn’t even feel safe when I left. When I was with him he beat me, sexually assaulted me daily, verbally and emotionally abused me, wouldn’t allow me to talk to family or friends and even made me draft offensive letters to people that he had to approve and I had to hit send on to isolate me.
School was my safe place growing up in abuse and I was always a very determined and type A person. For years after the school did this to me I felt lazy and defeated. I felt betrayed by them and no longer felt save or motivated like I used to in an institution.
When an institution with so much respect and power and legitimacy in the community did that to me, it really made me feel ashamed like no one would understand. Their legitimacy in the community as a top school on the county made me feel like no one could believe me or care and really messed me up. It doesn’t matter how well I do, the fact that no one will acknowledge what they did to me has me feeling like I live in the past.
They were supposed to protect me and help me, not hurt me more. I still can’t understand why they did that to me. The only people who were there for me at the time were medical staff who knew I was in an abusive situation and did their best to help.
At first they pretended to be there for me and told me they would give me access to counseling. But then they turned the situation around on me and charged me with disorderly conduct for making a scene and abuse because I scratched him in the process.
The campus police that handled the case because a neighbor called them, took him to jail but kept the weapon off the police report to prevent the case from being a felony reportable by the college. When I told the title x coordinator he said he tried to stab me to death because he accused me on cheating on him because that is what abusive partners do, she responded with “well did you?” They cut me off from counseling, held a trial for me where they suspended me, made me have police escorts and embarrassed me. I was in a seriously deadly situation and they just tried to get rid of me and limit their liability.
The title x coordinator was very combative. While they admitted to a degree that my partner was the problem by automatically expelling him they gaslight me and told me I need to consider how to be a better citizen and not burden people. This was after I spent a week in the hospital from an almost successful suicide attempt and then another week in the hospital after the assault. I told them I had no family and no where to go and got kicked out of my dorm, my on campus job, and anything I had when I was suspended. I had to stay with people that made me feel unsafe and move back in with my abusive partner who I had to flee on the greyhound while he worked to another state to get away from him. He stalked me for 2 years after I left him and threatened my daily and harassed me after I left. I couldn’t even feel safe when I left. When I was with him he beat me, sexually assaulted me daily, verbally and emotionally abused me, wouldn’t allow me to talk to family or friends and even made me draft offensive letters to people that he had to approve and I had to hit send on to isolate me.
School was my safe place growing up in abuse and I was always a very determined and type A person. For years after the school did this to me I felt lazy and defeated. I felt betrayed by them and no longer felt save or motivated like I used to in an institution.
When an institution with so much respect and power and legitimacy in the community did that to me, it really made me feel ashamed like no one would understand. Their legitimacy in the community as a top school on the county made me feel like no one could believe me or care and really messed me up. It doesn’t matter how well I do, the fact that no one will acknowledge what they did to me has me feeling like I live in the past.
They were supposed to protect me and help me, not hurt me more. I still can’t understand why they did that to me. The only people who were there for me at the time were medical staff who knew I was in an abusive situation and did their best to help.