swisscheese
New Here
Hey!
This is my first post in this forum.
My partner (F25) and I (M25) were together for almost exactly a year and it was the most wonderful time ever. We were completely compatible with each other and spent wonderful times together, meaningful discussions, long walks and extraordinary travels. We were completely honest with each other and told each other everything about our present and past. She told me about a trauma she had about anal sex that was caused by her ex boyfriend and sexually we were always really careful and it took a lot of time to build up trust but we managed really well and it was always a really safe environment. Up until a week ago.
We came home from a party and decided to sleep together and test out some new things as we have talked about for a long time. We were both quite drunk and test a small vibrator as well as a position we never tried which was a kind of doggy style. We used a lot of lubricant and a condom and at one point she told me "that's the wrong hole" when I tried to reenter. This happened two more times in this position and then she stopped and we went to sleep. I immediately excused for not aiming right but it was not until the next day after a long text message from her that she told me the last time my penis entered into the wrong hole... I felt terrible and we met the next evening where she told me that for her it is non-excusable what happened and I should've been more careful and she cannot understand how I, knowing all her traumas, could do something like that.
Fast forward of one week where she completely blocked me out of her life, she told me to meet up. She told me that for her the relationship is over and that she loves me but if she'd say yes to continue this relationship would mean that she accepts what happened and she cannot as it doesn't add up with her personal (feminist) values. I can completely follow her argument and yet I feel very saddened as it was a complete accident, I wasn't trying to get anal and I never meant to harm her in any way.
I feel completely lost and I don't know what to do. She told me to not contact her again and I cannot do anything else than to respect her wishes and at the same time I hope this decision was driven by anger and she will understand that it was an accident and that our feelings mean more to her than her political standpoint and that she can forgive me.
This is my first post in this forum.
My partner (F25) and I (M25) were together for almost exactly a year and it was the most wonderful time ever. We were completely compatible with each other and spent wonderful times together, meaningful discussions, long walks and extraordinary travels. We were completely honest with each other and told each other everything about our present and past. She told me about a trauma she had about anal sex that was caused by her ex boyfriend and sexually we were always really careful and it took a lot of time to build up trust but we managed really well and it was always a really safe environment. Up until a week ago.
We came home from a party and decided to sleep together and test out some new things as we have talked about for a long time. We were both quite drunk and test a small vibrator as well as a position we never tried which was a kind of doggy style. We used a lot of lubricant and a condom and at one point she told me "that's the wrong hole" when I tried to reenter. This happened two more times in this position and then she stopped and we went to sleep. I immediately excused for not aiming right but it was not until the next day after a long text message from her that she told me the last time my penis entered into the wrong hole... I felt terrible and we met the next evening where she told me that for her it is non-excusable what happened and I should've been more careful and she cannot understand how I, knowing all her traumas, could do something like that.
Fast forward of one week where she completely blocked me out of her life, she told me to meet up. She told me that for her the relationship is over and that she loves me but if she'd say yes to continue this relationship would mean that she accepts what happened and she cannot as it doesn't add up with her personal (feminist) values. I can completely follow her argument and yet I feel very saddened as it was a complete accident, I wasn't trying to get anal and I never meant to harm her in any way.
I feel completely lost and I don't know what to do. She told me to not contact her again and I cannot do anything else than to respect her wishes and at the same time I hope this decision was driven by anger and she will understand that it was an accident and that our feelings mean more to her than her political standpoint and that she can forgive me.