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T returning from leave

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I think you should email as well whenever works for you. He can decide when to read it and respond whenever he has the time. Have you emailed him about similar things in the past?
I am glad you will be seeing him on Monday! You have been holding onto so much on your own and it will be good to have the extra help.
 
@OliveJewel, @Defaultxlove, @Friday, @Freddyt and @mylunareclipse thank you all for the support and encouragement. I have drafted the email but I have decided to wait until at least tomorrow afternoon/evening when I get home from work to send it out. I know that he gets to decide when to read the email but I also don't want him to either worry, feel the need to reach out prior to our session or worse and my biggest fear request a welfare check cause yeah that I guess is the primary reason I struggle with sending this to far in advance of our session because I don't want him to feel the need to do something that we have agreed is contrary to what I want in any situation.
 
I don't want him to feel the need to do something that we have agreed is contrary to what I want in any situation.
Has he respected this boundary of yours in the past?
don't want him to either worry, feel the need to reach out prior to our session or worse and my biggest fear request a welfare check
What does support look like for you (regardless of whether or not someone deserves it)?
I think it goes back to not feeling worthy of being allowed that level of support from him/access to him, though he apparently believed I needed the support.
I think that someone who doesn’t see themselves as worthy of support still needs support sometimes. Would you agree (from a third party perspective?)

You don’t have to wait for things to get bad to receive support. That’s a PTSD lie, or cognitive distortion.
 
I have decided to wait until at least tomorrow afternoon/evening when I get home from work to send it out.
When I have avoidance problems with email, I usually set them up to send later now that gmail has that feature. For instance a letter to my T, I would schedule to send 8 am tomorrow. That way avoidance doesn't leave me thinking about sending and not doing it.
 
Has he respected this boundary of yours in the past?
He has respected this boundary in the past, but it hasn't been tested in a situation where we have been out of contact for a duration of time.
What does support look like for you
To me, support looks like acknowledgement of my existence. Support looks like checking in on me when you know things are going rough in my life, you may not be able to do anything to help but just let me know that you care, which is more than anyone other than my son has done for me since I lost my job in January.
someone who doesn’t see themselves as worthy of support still needs support sometimes.
Do they still need support sometimes, yes but that doesn't mean they will get it from anyone. And that has been the situation more often than not in my life, I don't ask for support because more than 90% of my life I have not received support from anyone. I get support here on line, this T and the one prior have both been good at support in the therapeutic setting. The prior T was good outside of session as well, he allowed me to text and email between sessions and he would acknowledge emails and provide brief responses or support via text if needed. Current T much tighter/stronger boundaries in that I can leave voicemails or send emails but unless I am I requesting an additional session or a change in schedule there is not any acknowledgement.
 
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