OK, the ridiculously long post i did in "you know you have ptsd when..." thread brings me here. Specifically this part:
I'm 25-ish years post actively living in the circumstances that brought me here. I can go months without any incidents now. Have built a nice life with my partner, financially stable, no kids (by choice!), and am lucky to be established in a career I enjoy. Yes, I do/have cut contact with toxic people when possible & i approach life and relationships knowing everything is temporary and conditional on both sides. That sounds like a downer, but it's liberating for me.
THE QUESTION IS THIS: Am I bullshitting myself about being in a good place with all this? If you were in my shoes would you get to this point and just accept the occasional yikes, or would you try and do therapy or whatever in hopes of really banishing the yikes entirely?
It's looking increasingly likely that my "accomplishment" (the life i've built) is really (or also) just massive avoidance of reminders. I haven't wrestled with/processed or desensitized to, say, seeing a certain place...i just arranged my life so I don't ever go there.
That works for all except people, especially family members. No-contact isn't an option for some complicated reasons. Right now it's all these damn Mothers Day adverts that are pulling things back up front. I have people in my life who are close with theirs and i don't want to piss on that, but unless i go AWOL/incommunicado for the mothers day ad "season" hearing about it and having nice-sounding answers for "how's your mom/what are you doing for her for mothers day?' is an annual mess for me.
... you don't realize how much the lack of triggers and stressors in your life is due to avoidance-via-lifestyle & doesn't hold when you are pressured or required to spend much time outside of that zone.
I'm 25-ish years post actively living in the circumstances that brought me here. I can go months without any incidents now. Have built a nice life with my partner, financially stable, no kids (by choice!), and am lucky to be established in a career I enjoy. Yes, I do/have cut contact with toxic people when possible & i approach life and relationships knowing everything is temporary and conditional on both sides. That sounds like a downer, but it's liberating for me.
THE QUESTION IS THIS: Am I bullshitting myself about being in a good place with all this? If you were in my shoes would you get to this point and just accept the occasional yikes, or would you try and do therapy or whatever in hopes of really banishing the yikes entirely?
It's looking increasingly likely that my "accomplishment" (the life i've built) is really (or also) just massive avoidance of reminders. I haven't wrestled with/processed or desensitized to, say, seeing a certain place...i just arranged my life so I don't ever go there.
That works for all except people, especially family members. No-contact isn't an option for some complicated reasons. Right now it's all these damn Mothers Day adverts that are pulling things back up front. I have people in my life who are close with theirs and i don't want to piss on that, but unless i go AWOL/incommunicado for the mothers day ad "season" hearing about it and having nice-sounding answers for "how's your mom/what are you doing for her for mothers day?' is an annual mess for me.