FauxLiz
Sponsor
I don't know where to post this because it could have gone under a lot of different forums so mods move if necessary
In January I was displaced (fancy way for saying terminated) from my job and have been underemployed since. I have been actively seeking a job in my field and have hoped to relocate to Florida for personal and health reasons. Last week I was tentatively offered a contract position for 6 months with potential to become permanent. I have been very excited about the opportunity and have begun making preparations to move as the position would begin May 2nd if the contract is approved on Tuesday.
Fast forward to today, I was doing more research about the area (I would be working for the local city government) and discovered that the community know as "Miracle Village" is 3 miles away and the organization that runs/oversees the community is based in the city where I would work. The thing is, just learning this triggered a panic attack. I know that none of the men that assaulted me are likely to be living there or be one of the individuals that have settled in the community due to lack of space but due to my history (SA by 5 different men not to include my ex-husband) I honestly don't know if I could feel comfortable there or if I would constantly be wondering if every man I was a member of the community or the organization and while I understand that the individuals involved have served their time, and I know this isn't on them. I just don't know if I am capable of working in the community. I know I wouldn't even try to live there, thank heavens that is not a requirement but in my work there are a lot of days where I work 10-14 hours and depending upon public meetings well into the night. The idea that I would stress about my safety every day at work I just don't know if I can take this job, I don't know if I am there in my healing or if I ever will be there.
I don't know maybe I am over reacting. Maybe it would be like a massive dose of exposure therapy. I need a better paying job soon or I will be homeless and worse, I just have no idea what to do and feel as though this is just another slap in the face by the universe.
In January I was displaced (fancy way for saying terminated) from my job and have been underemployed since. I have been actively seeking a job in my field and have hoped to relocate to Florida for personal and health reasons. Last week I was tentatively offered a contract position for 6 months with potential to become permanent. I have been very excited about the opportunity and have begun making preparations to move as the position would begin May 2nd if the contract is approved on Tuesday.
Fast forward to today, I was doing more research about the area (I would be working for the local city government) and discovered that the community know as "Miracle Village" is 3 miles away and the organization that runs/oversees the community is based in the city where I would work. The thing is, just learning this triggered a panic attack. I know that none of the men that assaulted me are likely to be living there or be one of the individuals that have settled in the community due to lack of space but due to my history (SA by 5 different men not to include my ex-husband) I honestly don't know if I could feel comfortable there or if I would constantly be wondering if every man I was a member of the community or the organization and while I understand that the individuals involved have served their time, and I know this isn't on them. I just don't know if I am capable of working in the community. I know I wouldn't even try to live there, thank heavens that is not a requirement but in my work there are a lot of days where I work 10-14 hours and depending upon public meetings well into the night. The idea that I would stress about my safety every day at work I just don't know if I can take this job, I don't know if I am there in my healing or if I ever will be there.
I don't know maybe I am over reacting. Maybe it would be like a massive dose of exposure therapy. I need a better paying job soon or I will be homeless and worse, I just have no idea what to do and feel as though this is just another slap in the face by the universe.