I'm not actually sure what's wrong, or what the end goal of therapy would be. I was going to sometimes last year, but then I quietly forgot about it, started working, etc. I'm concerned about the question: "What brings you to therapy?"
I guess I've remembered recently a day we were all wasting time outside library at school, someone brought up what happened in the first post I wrote away back, just mentioned it out loud and everybody heard. I can't remember every name and face in earshot, but it was brought up the same way you might recognise a movie you watched with friends or family years ago. Point being, everybody knew, almost everyone I knew at school knew, the pieces of work who took part in it knew, I immediately zoned out as the topic was brought up and don't remember what happened next. Nobody said a f*cking thing all them years, so that's been fun going back over the few, specific, memories of school with the added context that, ok it's not common knowledge, but someone can lightly laugh about doing something like that and everybody ignores it, including me. So who else knew? Even a f*cking teacher might have known, I can't remember.
All this is had me thinking in circles, lots of people knew, at least one of my family members knew, all my friends knew (stupid use of the word I know) and there were at least two other instances that happened in school at later dates. I'll just assume they were unrelated.
This can't be what brings me to therapy though? I've been acting strangely for the past few weeks, but I've no idea how to describe it, nor how to fix it. I can't listen to audiobooks at work anymore, in one ear out the other, can't play games at home either and I've regressed back to how I was when I started work (unable to introduce myself or start conversation). Disconnected might be the word, or stuck in my own mind thinking about the paragraphs above?
The best I can say is I'm stuck in that state, where you remember that cringe thing you said years ago even though its 1am and you're trying to sleep, but I've felt like that all day for nearly a week now, its enough.
Now I have to say this to a therapist with a straight face >:/ Oh boy
I guess I've remembered recently a day we were all wasting time outside library at school, someone brought up what happened in the first post I wrote away back, just mentioned it out loud and everybody heard. I can't remember every name and face in earshot, but it was brought up the same way you might recognise a movie you watched with friends or family years ago. Point being, everybody knew, almost everyone I knew at school knew, the pieces of work who took part in it knew, I immediately zoned out as the topic was brought up and don't remember what happened next. Nobody said a f*cking thing all them years, so that's been fun going back over the few, specific, memories of school with the added context that, ok it's not common knowledge, but someone can lightly laugh about doing something like that and everybody ignores it, including me. So who else knew? Even a f*cking teacher might have known, I can't remember.
All this is had me thinking in circles, lots of people knew, at least one of my family members knew, all my friends knew (stupid use of the word I know) and there were at least two other instances that happened in school at later dates. I'll just assume they were unrelated.
This can't be what brings me to therapy though? I've been acting strangely for the past few weeks, but I've no idea how to describe it, nor how to fix it. I can't listen to audiobooks at work anymore, in one ear out the other, can't play games at home either and I've regressed back to how I was when I started work (unable to introduce myself or start conversation). Disconnected might be the word, or stuck in my own mind thinking about the paragraphs above?
The best I can say is I'm stuck in that state, where you remember that cringe thing you said years ago even though its 1am and you're trying to sleep, but I've felt like that all day for nearly a week now, its enough.
Now I have to say this to a therapist with a straight face >:/ Oh boy