NotWeakNotStupid
Policy Enforcement
There's just so much spiraling despair, anxiety, and vague information about traumas. I'm not saying the forum is bad, but I would really like to be able to read through such disturbing texts without reacting in a way that makes anyone angry at me. Someone either getting angry about something i say, or pointing out my flaws, seems to be the biggest phobia i have, just because i have such a consistent history of "being negative" and hating myself. I've made a lot of strides over the years in terms of being a functional adult and not relying on panicking and taking drugs in order to make it to the next day, yet the screen name i created was out of being aware that i am kinda weak and stupid. I find myself comparing myself to victims of "the worst traumas", and just hoping that one day i can write a book about how i've recovered from my pain and everything is okay...yet i somehow keep injuring myself and judging myself. I really do fear aging a lot more than death, just because i will keep being reminded of my past mistakes, failure to find a spouse or a community of friends and happy people, and an inevitably worsening healthy! It seems to be harder and harder to think "everything will be okay! Better days are around the corner!"
Sorry if this post bothers any of you, but here's a simple way to sum up my miserable emotions over the past few months. Now, to get off my computer so that i get some exercise...
Sorry if this post bothers any of you, but here's a simple way to sum up my miserable emotions over the past few months. Now, to get off my computer so that i get some exercise...