Jonathan31
New Here
My Girlfriend is currently dealing with trauma from a relationship that she was in about 4 years ago. I noticed symptoms starting getting worse when she started talking to me about some of her experiences with him.
She has always had a hard time communicating with me about how she feels, discussing relationship issues, and even conversations around what both are individuals needs are in the relationship. I often get one or two word answers when trying to discuss what my needs are and/or asking about hers.
She has stopped sending me the loving messages that i am used to through out the day. I think i may have put some pressure on her to communicate with me, because i often find it frustrating when she does not talk to me. i know i should not feel that way but it is how i do.
I am starting to understand that her shutting down may be a result of the trauma that has resurfaced. I have tried to be there for her as much as possible. I have supported her and encouraged her, listened to her when she needed me to, and tried to help her by purchasing her a trauma work book. Despite me putting effort out, i feel like i am not getting my needs met and that she is not putting out the safe amount of effort. We have talked about this, and she has agreed that she has a hard time meeting my needs. I understand that, but I am not sure if I should continue to be patient and wait until things get better or if there is something else i should be doing? I hate to say this, but i think i have developed a bit of resentment. She comes off so cold when I see her and like she is not fully present when we spend time together.
I would appreciate your thoughts. This is the first experience i have had dealing with a partner who is dealing with relationship trauma.
She has always had a hard time communicating with me about how she feels, discussing relationship issues, and even conversations around what both are individuals needs are in the relationship. I often get one or two word answers when trying to discuss what my needs are and/or asking about hers.
She has stopped sending me the loving messages that i am used to through out the day. I think i may have put some pressure on her to communicate with me, because i often find it frustrating when she does not talk to me. i know i should not feel that way but it is how i do.
I am starting to understand that her shutting down may be a result of the trauma that has resurfaced. I have tried to be there for her as much as possible. I have supported her and encouraged her, listened to her when she needed me to, and tried to help her by purchasing her a trauma work book. Despite me putting effort out, i feel like i am not getting my needs met and that she is not putting out the safe amount of effort. We have talked about this, and she has agreed that she has a hard time meeting my needs. I understand that, but I am not sure if I should continue to be patient and wait until things get better or if there is something else i should be doing? I hate to say this, but i think i have developed a bit of resentment. She comes off so cold when I see her and like she is not fully present when we spend time together.
I would appreciate your thoughts. This is the first experience i have had dealing with a partner who is dealing with relationship trauma.
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