QuirkyTofurkey
Confident
dear ptsd friends, i'm trying really hard to live. and to convince myself to live. but the last few days i really want to die more than ever. i feel like slipping into water and drowning after that initial thrashing, those last moments, i cant stop fantasizing about it. it would have to be a big giant lake, right in the middle so i cant change my mind in the momentary panic. and then no one i love would have to deal with the cleanup of my body. it makes more sense than my previous fantasies.
im just reaching out to friends and family to start saying im sorry and i really did do my best to be a good citizen, a good daughter, a good sister, a good friend. i really did my very best.
i just feel like i cant do it anymore. i feel weird. i know in my brain i should try to live and i should try to reach out and get help, so i thought id at least share this in the one place that fully understands. i dont know what else to do.
im sorry if this is a burden but i realy need your help and words of advice. i feel like its the end and im ready to die. and im scared and confused.
im just reaching out to friends and family to start saying im sorry and i really did do my best to be a good citizen, a good daughter, a good sister, a good friend. i really did my very best.
i just feel like i cant do it anymore. i feel weird. i know in my brain i should try to live and i should try to reach out and get help, so i thought id at least share this in the one place that fully understands. i dont know what else to do.
im sorry if this is a burden but i realy need your help and words of advice. i feel like its the end and im ready to die. and im scared and confused.