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Resignation

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LeiaFlower

Confident
This is more as a soundboard on whether or not I should resign from my current job.

It's my dream job in the sense of doing something I'm passionate about as well as can grow in. The pay is okay though it could be better if I was given more opportunities with having additional clients. However, I'm struggling to keep myself afloat mentally. I just got out of an inpatient program after telling my therapist about intrusive thoughts. I was previously struggling with keeping up with school, and it felt like my relationships were deteriorating. Now I'm doing somewhat okay but I'm scared to go back to my job. I was in a position where I had everything going for me. I had a dream job, going to school for something I'm passionate about, and improving my relationships with people. Nevertheless, I was still emotionally empty. I don't want to quit simply for the fact that I don't want others to look down on me. Or think I'm dramatic and hysterical for letting go of something perfect. Though the job did have its flaws, stressors that were adding to my already empty feeling. I genuinely don't know what to do. I don't want to make a bad decision and ruin something good in my life. But I wasn't happy. I tried to push through it but that only increased the suicidal and intrusive thoughts. But maybe since I've been on leave and getting somewhat stable I can return? Maybe it won't be as bad if I readjust things. Shouldn't I try again before quitting? Regardless I told my doctor that my return to work date is tomorrow. I need to figure out what to do instead of running from my anxiety.
 
I don't know what country you are in,but in the UK in the field I work in, I would be doing a 'return to work' meeting and setting out a plan of how to support an employee coming back after a health issue. Building back up to full time hours, looking at what support they need,how to check on with them , etc.

Are there adjustments to the work environment that your employer could do that might help?

So maybe there is a middle ground rather than working or not working?
 
the biggest problem i've had with finding my dream jobs is a) several grinding realities of those dream jobs never quite made it into my dream world. insert eagles here. "what do you do when a dream comes true and it's not quite what you planned?" and b) dreaming is a major outlet for me. when a dream comes true, i always find myself missing the dream. what do i dream about now?

finding ways to balance those two factors made it easier for me to work my dream jobs into bigger realities. the best jobs aren't found. they are made, custom order.

but that is me and every case is unique, especially in regard to "dream jobs."

gentle support while you sort your own case, leia.
 
So maybe there is a middle ground rather than working or not working?
I decided to lessen my caseload by only having one client a week. Though I'll have to find other avenues to make money, I know I'm not in the best headspace to provide adequate care that'll be that beneficial. Though with this client he's pretty easy and it's minimal work which is somewhat of a plus.
 
I don't know what country you are in,but in the UK in the field I work in, I would be doing a 'return to work' meeting and setting out a plan of how to support an employee coming back after a health issue. Building back up to full time hours, looking at what support they need,how to check on with them , etc.

Are there adjustments to the work environment that your employer could do that might help?

So maybe there is a middle ground rather than working or not working?
Awesome that you have that. I do not and I work for a public school system. You would think they would. I am currently out due to PTSD symptoms. How does someone work in a high stress office environment (being yelled at) and not have ptsd symptoms? I have all the tools but nothing helps. Any advice?
 
I've had to slowly come to terms with the fact that in today's capitalistic society, as it is, I am not employable. I can work under structured conditions, but it requires a lot of patience and flexibility from my employer and most are not able to meet me where I am. I used to tie a lot of value into what I produce for society and my job, but those things are ultimately meaningless. We're just people, citizens. Some jobs are super important and some people like their jobs, and there are jobs that I would like to do, but do not qualify for. Maybe someday there'll be a middle ground. I volunteer a lot, but that doesn't pay the bills.
 
It's a shame that there isn't something to help. I truly wish there was for you and me. I cannot work in a high stress environment without crying outbursts or shaking furiously. I have the rubber band on my wrist, my visual ques, as well as my chakra beads and meditation. What I really need and I am sure other people in our spot do as well is an employment business. One that specializes in helping people with disabilities or hard to employ find a job. Wait? Is there one? Maybe we can get a job there? Maybe we should start that business?? Hmmmmm something to think about??? 😉
 
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