You're not stupid at all for feeling the way you do. It is a natural response to a loss, and since you mentioned not losing anyone close to you up until this point, it seems like its the first time your brain has had to deal with anything like this, so the emotions are probably going to be a bit difficult to untangle and work through. It was unexpected too, a shock to your system. You seem to have a good handle on what you're feeling and why, and doing a good thing by looking out for symptoms of other issues that might arise. I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope you start to feel better soon.I feel pretty stupid for feeling this way