LeiaFlower
Confident
During my therapy session, we were discussing nightmares. I thought I wasn't afraid of them. However, a small voice in my head said "I want to go home." I ignored it and then a freeze response took over. I went stiff and I couldn't speak. I was consciously still in the room, aware of my surroundings, and my therapist's voice repeatedly called my name. But I couldn't respond. I couldn't move my head to nod to her question that I could hear her. I couldn't move or force myself to speak, the only control I had was blinking away tears due to losing control of my body. I tried to calm myself down by reminding myself that I was in a safe space and no one could hurt me, this of course had no effect. After what felt like ten minutes I was able to utter a word that I can't remember anymore. Slowly my body relaxed but it felt like my knees were on fire. I explained to her that 'she', the small voice in my head, wanted to go home. My therapist asked if this ever happened before and I shook my head before making arrangements to be picked up from my session.
Once I got home I remember that I used to lose my speaking ability even with my previous therapist. I don't know how I forgot something that big that happened not that long ago. Regardless, the first instance happened in September of last year when I was asked why I was uncomfortable with affection. Since then I noticed when I even do it when I'm alone. In the past, it only was losing my ability to speak for a short amount of time. I was able to master telling her what was going on and working around it. However, this recent one was worse. I lost my ability to move as well as speak. I couldn't signal that freeze response was taking over. I don't know why I forgot the previous instances, or why this recent one with my new therapist was worse. I like her and trust her more than my previous one. Though I guess I'm still weary if she could adequately help me.
My main question is, has anyone else experienced this before? If so, what did they do to combat it?
Once I got home I remember that I used to lose my speaking ability even with my previous therapist. I don't know how I forgot something that big that happened not that long ago. Regardless, the first instance happened in September of last year when I was asked why I was uncomfortable with affection. Since then I noticed when I even do it when I'm alone. In the past, it only was losing my ability to speak for a short amount of time. I was able to master telling her what was going on and working around it. However, this recent one was worse. I lost my ability to move as well as speak. I couldn't signal that freeze response was taking over. I don't know why I forgot the previous instances, or why this recent one with my new therapist was worse. I like her and trust her more than my previous one. Though I guess I'm still weary if she could adequately help me.
My main question is, has anyone else experienced this before? If so, what did they do to combat it?