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Sufferer 41 years ago and I'm still traumatized

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cetiya

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I was kidnapped by a psychotic maniac on the run from the law when I was 22 and held against my will for almost a year. It was hell. 41 years later and when triggered, can really get bad symptoms. It comes and goes, every few years it'll get really bad, then it will "sleep" until the next time.
I was hoping to find people who understand. My bff doesn't get it
 
hello cetiya. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

ptsd is like so many other things in life which you really can't get unless you've got it. personally, i hope my bff never has the experience to fully understand. it helps me to have people who remind me that there is a world outside my mental health condition and help me feel grounded in that world.

but being understood and knowing i'm not alone is equally important. i find that within my therapy network. this very forum is one of the nodes on my therapy network. i hope it serves you as well as it has served me.

welcome aboard.
 
hello cetiya. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

ptsd is like so many other things in life which you really can't get unless you've got it. personally, i hope my bff never has the experience to fully understand. it helps me to have people who remind me that there is a world outside my mental health condition and help me feel grounded in that world.

but being understood and knowing i'm not alone is equally important. i find that within my therapy network. this very forum is one of the nodes on my therapy network. i hope it serves you as well as it has served me.

welcome aboard.
I wouldn't wish this understanding on my friend but she says things like you should just let go, you're holding onto this, why won't you get better. So it's frustrating. PTSD doesn't go away, for me anyway. She doesn't get it
 
my bff has diabetes and i have tons of opinions on how she could manage it without the endless steams of doctor visits i so hate listening to recounts of. what specialist has you specialized this week? how 'bout a sample of my latest vegan great? sigh. . .

a friend is somebody who knows all about you and likes you, anyway. i shoot for friendly acceptance of the parts i don't understand while i bring the parts of me that she doesn't understand to my own brand of specialists.

it takes a village to live a healthy life. there is tremendous value in having BOTH a friend and therapy supporters.
 
my bff has diabetes and i have tons of opinions on how she could manage it without the endless steams of doctor visits i so hate listening to recounts of. what specialist has you specialized this week? how 'bout a sample of my latest vegan great? sigh. . .

a friend is somebody who knows all about you and likes you, anyway. i shoot for friendly acceptance of the parts i don't understand while i bring the parts of me that she doesn't understand to my own brand of specialists.

it takes a village to live a healthy life. there is tremendous value in having BOTH a friend and therapy supporters.
We've been best friends for 50 years so I accept that she'll never understand. It just bugs me sometimes.
 
you should just let go
I tell people who say this that it's not it the past, to my brain it's happening now. Maybe ask her to remind you "it's not happening now" when you're panicking? Maybe explain that normal people can let it go, but people with PTSD brains are different. It can be frustrating especially when you are doing everything you can to keep your symptoms in check and others pretend there is nothing wrong with you.
 
says things like you should just let go, you're holding onto this, why won't you get better. So it's frustrating.
Yes, ALL of this- ESPECIALLY those in religious and/or "positive only" "personal growth" communities.

Agree with Dharmagirl that it's not in the past for those of us who have PTSD. But it's not just "PTSD brain" imo. It's the whole nervous system.

For me, my body (specifically my anxiety is a knot in my gut, shoulders and throat- learned that because of EMDR therapy) knows way before my brain does.

I feel in my various body part(s) (most often the knot in the gut) long before I have a memory of a traumatic event.

I have one bff who doesn't get it because most of the time she's avoiding her own PTSD. Another who thinks he knows better than I do what's best for me (he's in the above camps + a *tiny* bit of knowledge about the brain) who's also avoiding his ptsd.

And other family/friends. We either just gradually talk less and less, and/or we gradually just don't talk at all. Or we talk and avoid the topic. (That just feels so inauthentic to me now though. I hate it).

I don't currently have the strength to say "no one knows better than me what it's like living in my skin and since you're unwilling or unable to accept this Truth, it's not good for me to have you in my life. I hope that changes but for now, it has to be goodbye."

Because I can't say all of that and deal with the fallout, my best is to simply let them or the topic just fall away. That's the best I can do right now and it just has to be good enough. It HAS to be... because it is my BEST. And idgaf anymore if they understand or believe that.

My therapist and I understand and know how best to address it. As do my friends who have/had their own PTSD.

I say ALL of this to say "welcome, you're not alone, here's a piece of my experience that may/may not be useful for you. Stay true to you. Always." 😊💕
 
I wouldn't wish this understanding on my friend but she says things like you should just let go, you're holding onto this, why won't you get better. So it's frustrating. PTSD doesn't go away, for me anyway. She doesn't get it
People don’t as a rule who haven’t experienced it. I don’t ask anyone to understand anymore. I have a couple people, one I’m married to the, other a therapist. Neither of them get it completely. I feel lucky though even to have that. I hope you feel better.
 
Yes, ALL of this- ESPECIALLY those in religious and/or "positive only" "personal growth" communities.

Agree with Dharmagirl that it's not in the past for those of us who have PTSD. But it's not just "PTSD brain" imo. It's the whole nervous system.

For me, my body (specifically my anxiety is a knot in my gut, shoulders and throat- learned that because of EMDR therapy) knows way before my brain does.

I feel in my various body part(s) (most often the knot in the gut) long before I have a memory of a traumatic event.

I have one bff who doesn't get it because most of the time she's avoiding her own PTSD. Another who thinks he knows better than I do what's best for me (he's in the above camps + a *tiny* bit of knowledge about the brain) who's also avoiding his ptsd.

And other family/friends. We either just gradually talk less and less, and/or we gradually just don't talk at all. Or we talk and avoid the topic. (That just feels so inauthentic to me now though. I hate it).

I don't currently have the strength to say "no one knows better than me what it's like living in my skin and since you're unwilling or unable to accept this Truth, it's not good for me to have you in my life. I hope that changes but for now, it has to be goodbye."

Because I can't say all of that and deal with the fallout, my best is to simply let them or the topic just fall away. That's the best I can do right now and it just has to be good enough. It HAS to be... because it is my BEST. And idgaf anymore if they understand or believe that.

My therapist and I understand and know how best to address it. As do my friends who have/had their own PTSD.

I say ALL of this to say "welcome, you're not alone, here's a piece of my experience that may/may not bng useful for you. Stay true toer you. Always." 😊💕
I knew I'd find people that understand here! Its aggravating but what can you do? I'm over it. I guess ill have my understanding from total strangers and give up on her! Oh well she's a good friend in other ways
 
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