Friday
Moderator
People isolate in different ways. And are okay with different kinds of isolating in others.I'm not completely sure what you mean by this? Sorry if I am being dense
For example, some people are perfectly fine dating someone who needs to isolate for several weeks, as long as they get a text once a day, or a text once a week. Or simply show up at the end of an allotted time period, even if they need to take off, right away. For others? If someone is gone for a day, that’s the end. And 10,000 variations in between.
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My own self I tend to carve out some time daily, and every 3 months take a week or three. <<< If I CANNOT do this? I stop being able to proactively manage my stress levels, it starts becoming reactive instead, and I lose contact with people for YEARS at a time. >>> So IF I want to lead a relatively normal life with work/family/friends/social circles? I really have to build in these cushions.
I’ve dated people who cannot handle that. Much less the “in event of emergency break glass” forms of isolation that thunk down in other situations where my tools are simply not up to the task & I just have to *poof* for awhile. (Yo! Timeouts are SACRED. If I don’t cool my jets, am not “allowed” to step away for 15min-15hours, however long I need to let hot emotion be replaced by cool reason? We’re done. This isn’t going to work. <<< but at the same time? Am tooooootally seduceable. I don’t break up with people for crossing my boundaries. I break up with people for HOW they cross my boundaries. Some of my absolute favourite people/relationships completely ignored my “I need to be alone” moments, and -simply?- supplied waaaay better alternatives. Shrug.)
Conversely? I don’t deal well with someone who isolates like I do. But deal with other types of isolation beautifully.