Hello everyone,
I'm anxious and it feels really hard to start because I have flashback every time I have to speak about myself.
Feels like I'm doing something awfully improper.
I desperately need to tell my story. And the English is not my first language.
I had my first psychotic episode 8 years ago. It was nightmare + umbareble amount of guilt and shame. But I don't want to speak about the psychosis itself, I can say that it's already something that I have in the past. Already 2 years I'm OK.
The whole situation though helped me to 'open my eyes ' I was seriously emotionally abused on many levels and I had no idea that such thing even existed at that time. I was really naive and without any social skills.
Actually the psychosis or schizophrenia ( how I was diagnosed) went away when I realised the abuse was real, though never direct but subtle and destroying.
And here I need some source of help and support because the abuse is still present. Luckily I'm not living in the same country anymore but I'm obligated to make video calls.....
It's my mother and sister... that's feels so wrong and crazy to write....
I'm also not pretty sure that this is the right place to write about that...
I'm fighting awful inner critic at that point telling me that everyone will thing I'm lying, or what I'm writing is totally boring and nobody will pay any attention..
I hope I'll write further
I'm anxious and it feels really hard to start because I have flashback every time I have to speak about myself.
Feels like I'm doing something awfully improper.
I desperately need to tell my story. And the English is not my first language.
I had my first psychotic episode 8 years ago. It was nightmare + umbareble amount of guilt and shame. But I don't want to speak about the psychosis itself, I can say that it's already something that I have in the past. Already 2 years I'm OK.
The whole situation though helped me to 'open my eyes ' I was seriously emotionally abused on many levels and I had no idea that such thing even existed at that time. I was really naive and without any social skills.
Actually the psychosis or schizophrenia ( how I was diagnosed) went away when I realised the abuse was real, though never direct but subtle and destroying.
And here I need some source of help and support because the abuse is still present. Luckily I'm not living in the same country anymore but I'm obligated to make video calls.....
It's my mother and sister... that's feels so wrong and crazy to write....
I'm also not pretty sure that this is the right place to write about that...
I'm fighting awful inner critic at that point telling me that everyone will thing I'm lying, or what I'm writing is totally boring and nobody will pay any attention..
I hope I'll write further