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Positive Things to Build On this Year

Tinyflame

MyPTSD Pro
Is there anything you learned that you will try to build on this year, and for which you are grateful? Feel free to add as they come to you.

Some of mine are, I learned trust is my choice to give, it is active not passive and I have to be the one to choose to do it.

I am more aware of my own disregulation and try to ride it out with awareness.

I learned 'feelings' of unsafety can be wrong sometimes, or need fine-tuning.

(PS< Happy New Year everyone! 🙂 )
 
I would add, I am trying to be more grateful, more aware, or rather more present, and stop when I realize my brain is telling stories. Especially feeding off of shame.

Has anyone pinpointed anything that is helping you? (I guess I would also say noticing what is helpful.)
 
After three medical emergencies in six months, I have a new appreciation for being healthy. Finally looking at a remission, so this is another chance to get a few more years and hopefully more. Taking care of myself and finding a balance in my days. Mostly, learning to live in gratitude and enjoy my days. But I have no tolerance for games, manipulation, dishonesty or gossip and I call it out and if there is no change then I cut them off. I want to enjoy my family and friends and my life.
 
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Learning to laugh and smile with out having my brain go in to shame mold.


It's ok to be hesitant just give yourself time with out forcing it.

The feeling wheel has helped me. Which is saying a lot because I still go in to numb mold but been talking about being sad and knowing when I'm laughing from inside with out feeling like it's a forced.

Thank you this has helped me see that little things have changed not by a lot but it has changed which gives me hope.
 
Thank you this has helped me see that little things have changed not by a lot but it has changed which gives me hope.
Thank you also, I love all these too. A good reminder that the biggest differences can start small and grow mightily. I think 1% a little more peaceful in our own skin is still progress.
 
I was reminded too, to notice the positives. Not in the way of trying to be positive, just that they are there, the factuality, especially in times of distressful times.

For example, the puppy could have likely died, according to the Vet, and one more week would have been throwing money in desperate treatment that probably wouldn't have saved her life. But instead she was scheduled right at just enough time and with such a skilled vet that the regularly scheduled surgery was the same as what would have been the emergency surgery, but before she had shown the symptoms and when it was still possible (not improbable) that it would save her life. (I also think the Vet Office thinks she is running around or anxious at home but the puppy is not, just playful and secure. It has to start somewhere though and grow, it takes time and safety, which is over and above socialization I feel, esp for a rescue).

I do think managing stress is, at best, critical. But even yesterday a friend showed up out of the blue and I asked them for a favor. So trusting and noticing the help and having the help and having the courage to ask are also things I (personally) should and need to try to practise.

I'm also trying to start and end each day with a brief moment of calm, end the day with short good words I'm recopying from my phone, and doing back exercises/ yoga on my day off. Also having a bit of apple juice and 2 vitamins for b/fast.

I guess that sounds silly but for me is huge. It's not the most critical part but anything helpful might grow.
 
I think perhaps part of trust, but also necessary, I would like to practice remembering good things and the good side of situations. To have more faith where warranted and a less cluttered mind, or less of paying attention to the vigilant/ frightened part of my mind. Hope that makes sense.
 
you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love and lose your moneys to a monster, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honor trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then—to learn.

- The Once and Future King

There was a time, until as recently as this year, where this line from TOFK was the guidepost by which I lived my life. If I could just explain it. If I could master it. If I could solve for grief the way one solves for X.

Something has shifted in me, since then. It's not the first time I've ever been told that sometimes you just have to accept what is, is. Others knew long before me but I felt they were over-simplifying things. To be fair, I do not think I could have arrived at the same conclusion without the painstaking process of trying to make manifest what is ultimately incomprehensible.

Maybe I don't need to understand what it all means. Not merely that I cannot understand it, which means I have failed. But that I actually do not need to, in order to be at peace. Maybe I can just do as many good things as humanly possible. And that's enough.
 
Yes @Weemie , I think you are very wise. I believe I can relate to exactly what you mean. More as is said it is the journey, not the destination. Nothing of what in many ways was desired or planned, but realizing it rarely is for many people, or rarely brings entirely what is expected. And regardless, this is and thus it is. It's more living than understanding (and certainly in my case rarely solving).

I also feel the same lately to a great degree with appearances. I just don't think of it the same. It's not confidence, it's just I know more who or how I am, and accept it simply because it is. Maybe I just don't have the energy to invest in it, lol. Or there's just so much more important than that, including my peace of mind and how many spoons I have available. 🙂
 
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I'm sorry I missed the edit, I meant to say I think the subjective experience of whatever we are going through, or just living in general, is much easier with support, understanding, faith and tenderheartedness, self-responsibility but forgiveness, for ourselves as well. I saw a sign that said, 'Pain is real but hope is also'. I can't say I'm 'there' but I feel it is correct.
 
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