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Thank you so much for your reply, Scout. It is so helpful....especially the part about him possibly not even knowing it is PTSD responding and making the decisions, and he may not even know it. The part about being friends and your take on that is interesting, I suppose due to it being long...

Thank you so very much Freida, I just want to send you a big hug.....todays messages have really helped me take some of the burden off myself, stop blaming myself for being stressed so much throughout the pandemic and long distance situation, and cause it to be harder when it always was so hard...

I feel that is true....thanks sweatpea.....if i may ask one last question of you, I have told him i will do anything to make it work (therapy, talking to others with ptsd etc, reading forums, whatever it takes)...aside from a therapist, which you mentioned some with PTSD straight up wont do, why...

He seemed like such a rock, and so stable and committed, until the visa was granted to come here....I feel like he "projected" everything then, how stressful all the hoops we have to jump through are to be together, how he will have to sell all his things to move here, how expensive the...

Thankyou, I just never saw it coming, honestly, he promised me everything would be ok for almost three years, then suddenly when he COULD come here to see me, the reality hit him. He said he didnt think about the reality and all the things that had to be done and could go wrong until our borders...

I appreciate your response Sweetpea, albeit terse, but i guess i get your message. I am hurting a lot, so pretty sensitive right now. I dont know if HE even thinks or realises the PTSD is a factor, he says straight out it isn't, that is what is so confusing. Is he lying to himself? You said...

Thank you all for your comments......an update since we broke up....we kept talking every day for hours every day, twice a day, like normal, we still added heart emojis to the texts we would send throughout each day also....so, nothing really changed as far as our routines or daily interactions...

Thank you for your reply, Friday....so much to take in, I am trying so hard to understand and make sense of everything. You give me some good insight...he is a combat vet so has been exposed to great loss and seen the unimaginable - i can never assume to know or understand what that is like, or...

Hi Freida, thank you so very much for sharing...you really are helping me understand, as much as that is possible! It was so interesting that you mention the email being short, my fiance (well, ex i guess :( always had trouble reading my text messages when things were heightened or emotionally...

Hi Freida, thank you for liking my last comment (in response to things joeylittle said) , i was wondring if you have any advice around this (the email noting things)...thankyou xx

Hi again Joeylittle, I have been thinking over all your wonderful advice and explanations. I have drafted a rather long email, saying a lot of this (with total love and acceptance).....do you think he himself is aware this is the reason for our breakup? Would it be triggering to bring this up...

thank you!

Hi, could you please share where to find the thread on here you referenced "What Are They Thinking?" - i did a search but could not find it...thanks!

Thank you Freida, gosh, that all breaks my heart. I thought i knew the extent of it, he never said much more, other than how affected he is by fireworks, being in a mall or supermarket for too long, having to have his back to the wall in a restaurant....he knows he can be totally vulnerable with...

Thankyou, joeylittle, for your amazing, well thought out and helpful response, i was beginning to feel a tad attacked, and felt schooled, when all i am asking for is advice, so i truly appreciate yours. That has all helped me (as much as it can) understand. I have seen his responses to an...

sorry if i offended you, I of course am not in anyones head, i just am more attuned, is all, than most.

I am very empathic, and feel what others feel, I know how overwhelmed he is, moving IS a huge step, but the trip to come see me is just to visit, for 2-3 weeks, and you are right, he IS afraid he may come here and it wont work out, now he is thinking about all the things that could not work out...

no, it only happened yesterday, and we have talked at length about it all, and have been texting last night and all today, which isnt the best i dea if i need to heal. He is very loving and supportive and compassionate, we are both really suffering. He is absolutely there for me.

No, we spent a few weeks together, and i flew back home the day the world shut down, so we have spent time together. I flew over there about a month after we met online. ETA:: We have met in person, we met online, then I flew to meet him a month after we met.We spent a few weeks together, i...

Hi All, New to this forum. I am a female in my 40s, been in a long dstance relationship with a male (40s) in another country who has PTSD from his time in the military 20 years ago. We have not seen each other for 2 and a half years due to the borders being locked down from covid, now, finally...