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  1. Muttly

    Other Let's talk about torture.

    This thread again, except this time I'm posting here. I'm fairly sure that what I went through doesn't (mostly doesn't?) qualify as torture. And technically, if you are talking about pain inflicted on someone who can't escape, isn't all child abuse torture? I say, I don't belong here and for...
  2. Muttly

    Triggered in session due to therapist behavior

    Sure, it could be a reaction to the med and she didn't realize how badly it was effecting her. She may not have realized it was effecting her so much, although I find it concerning she still didn't realize after the fact. Talking to her about this is going to be important and it could be super...
  3. Muttly

    Transitioning and Coping with Gender Dysphoria: Needing Support

    I would definitely look into trans support groups. When I transitioned (ftm) it helped me a lot. I am glad your inner circle has been supportive. It's hard and some people never get it, but it's a relief to be your true self. Hang in there.
  4. Muttly

    Being brave - Bravery - every person in this community is brave . Whats the bravest thing you have done ?

    Hmm... my first reaction to this post was "ugh", which is on me. I think I've had to be brave too much in my life. It's also one of those things that supporters say a lot, which can be discounting. I know that's not your point though. If I reframe it as what challenge have I faced that I am...
  5. Muttly

    Is nipple pinching considered sexual abuse?

    You've gotten a lot of answers, and some are probably not going to be helpful to you. So, how are you doing all this? For me, I'm not going to weigh in on whether it was sexual abuse. I used to ask those questions all the time. Really, what I was trying to do was justify my reaction to...
  6. Muttly

    Undiagnosed Pushed past the ‘functional’ line

    Welcome to the forum. It's a good place. Sorry that events brought you here.
  7. Muttly

    Undiagnosed Can't get rid of control and affection from my parents.

    Hi, I relate to this very much. I've come a long ways in healing but my relationship with my family is something I still struggle with at times. I will say it's to a much, much smaller degree. I have my own life, job, support system and hobbies. It's confusing when your family can be helpful in...
  8. Muttly

    Massive backfire in therapy - don't know what to do

    My therapist lets me email. However, the same thing can still happen. If parts are blocking, there are all kinds of ways to avoid talking about, even with the email. That's assuming the T prompts me with the email. I've had a few who let me email and most of the time, they wait for me to bring...
  9. Muttly

    can A life be wasted?

    It's a feeling and a powerful one. I think the key thing is recognizing it's a feeling. Life is a continuum. What if you decide your life is a waste and moments later you are out crossing the street and grab some child out of the road before the kid gets hit by a car? That's a dramatic example...
  10. Muttly

    DID Should I try to hide it in relationships or not ?

    Hmm... well, here I guess I may circle back to what @Sideways was saying. I didn't get into a long-term, committed relationship until I'd done a lot of work in therapy. My parts and I work fairly well together. There's still work to do, but the days when we switched a bunch and didn't have...
  11. Muttly

    Looking for comfort & support - Pregnant, Eating Disorder, Triggered By Family, Flashbacks, & Depression.

    Are you being dumb? No. You are being hurt and triggered. Your experiencing past trauma on top of being pregnant and not on meds. Was the wrong sized clothes intentional? Who knows. It's the kind of thing I would ignore. I'd give the clothes away, someone will need them and move on. If it was...
  12. Muttly

    DID Should I try to hide it in relationships or not ?

    My partner knows that I have DID. He knows the basic of my parts. And there times when the little ones are out about him, but it's in a supervised, playful way. It's not out of control. And it's done in a way that's fun and connecting for my partner and I, not me expecting him to care take. The...
  13. Muttly

    PTSD and not sure what to do

    Hi, I am sorry you are dealing with PTSD. Welcome to this forum. It's a good place, especially if you are open to honest feedback. When you feel more comfortable it may help for you to tell us a bit more about what's going on.
  14. Muttly

    Over reacting vs normalizing

    I sure have experienced this. I think part of what has helped me get better over time, is reality checking with other people. And finding people who had good judgement and . I could trust. Talking about both sides of the story and why I might perceive things one way or the other.
  15. Muttly

    T is trustworthy….eek

    That's a great process you went through. I have started with a new T because of a move and can relate. She's older and part of my brain is convinced she will retire. I've also realized how little work I did with my last T. Knowing how good she is scares me to death. It's also wonderful. I am...
  16. Muttly

    Sexual Assault Doubting of my own side of the story

    I have dealt with a lot of doubts about what happened. One thing my therapist worked on is exploring that. If it didn't happen, what would I gain by making it up? What would have lead me to create that? We've explored it in a non-judgmental way. Because *if* it were made up (it's not), our mind...
  17. Muttly

    Saying "no" to common tasks

    Another thing to do, is practice saying "no" where the stakes are less high. Say no at a restaurant or to someone in your life where it doesn't really matter. It is still really hard for me to say "no"
  18. Muttly

    Dealing with boundary issues in therapy

    It stinks and it's hard but this is worth talking about. There's a reason you are feeling how you do. It doesn't mean you or your T are wrong. Talking about it may well be a launching point into underlying issues. It may just be a way of you experiencing uncomfortable interactions in a safe...
  19. Muttly

    Triggered and taking a personal day?

    It's ok to take a personal day. It's ok to just rest. It's ok to struggle. How are you doing now?
  20. Muttly

    My therapist won't give me an appointment. Lacks consistency

    That's really rotten. I know it's painful but it is good in a lot of ways. This therapist was not giving you what you need and didn't sound a good fit. Now you have the chance to reach out and find a new therapist. I don't say that to diminish your feelings. The pain you are feeling is totally...
  21. Muttly

    Unplanned Pregnancy

    I am so sorry, that sounds super overwhelming. I am glad you have friends and found this forum. Do you have a therapist? Please take gentle care of yourself and keep reaching out for support.
  22. Muttly

    Sufferer what i thought was physical abuse might actually have been CSA also

    I wish there was more support in place for people. It is really hard when the help you need is not available. There's a lot in your first post I can relate to. It took me time to accept that what my dad did to me was CSA. There is a lot of good support on this forum. Keep talking here and keep...
  23. Muttly

    Blocked from transgender health care

    Oh, I forgot to respond to @Friday's comments about going out of state. I am also reaching out to my old doctor. What I need though, is a regular supply of testosterone and that is a controlled substance so that does complicate things. It also gets expensive. So, first I will see what I can do...
  24. Muttly

    Blocked from transgender health care

    Sorry it took me so long to get back here. Partly I needed time to think and process and partly I got sick and that sucked away my energy :P I understand why so many of you are saying move. I have to be honest, part of me is angry over that. I shouldn't have to move to be who I am. And if...
  25. Muttly

    Blocked from transgender health care

    I could use both practical advice and support I guess. (sorry for asking). The brief summary - I'm a transgender man. I moved to Missouri about 5 weeks ago from a much more liberal state. I knew it was a risk, but the town I moved to is a pretty liberal town. And I have moved in with my...