You watch carefully how your dogs react to thunderstorms and fireworks and try to learn processing fear through them.
What am I naturally doing to help them feel safe that I can't quite do for myself?
Just random stories because I have no questions. I may be looking for some validation but I know what I know. Consciously these stories need no validation.
Story one. Maybe 6 months ago. I will call this the external motivated one. I found myself very mad at me. I went to punch a wall...
I almost wanted to argue this. Not because I disagree but because I have seen it said so few times.
I have many close companionships, family, friends etc. I have found that they place a ton of value on my input. Way more value than I give myself for giving.
We may not always be...
I think we play that game also. I think we may even be better at guessing.
The advantage of being 99% vs 95% correct isn't as impressive when that 1% f*cks up your everyday life.
Don't remember how breaking the glass made you feel in a moment. Remember how it felt afterwards and having to ask others for validation.
Grasp that and other similar behaviors and you can start to control your reactions.
Validation is from yourself and not your mother.
If I knew how to...
I don't know how to title this!
About 20 years ago I was sitting at a card table. Mostly good friends and one acquaintance I had known for about a year. I made a "bad" joke noone understood. To defend myself I said "A good joke will get everyone to laugh. A bad joke will make me seem dumb...
My actions last fall are paying off now. I won that damn fight!
I went silent for a long time. My questions to neighbors were so damn uncomfortable. However about 6 months later they are coming to me. How did you get this asshole off your case?
My path was so damaging to myself yet has...
I think "this" is how the awareness is supposed to slowly change things.
Pattern trapped/unheard/shame.
For a bit the course will run through. The shame will ring a bell. Backtrack and realize it's done happened again. Hopefully not the big stuff just day to day stuff.
With catching on at...
It took a mother with my amateur diagnosis of BPD and a wife with the same thing. CPTSD became a "thing" for me damn quick.
You are posting as a person in a relationship with someone with symptoms of CPTSD.
Don't become a member here. Find support but don't be one of us.
Exposure to what...
I have been in a similar position. Married a few years to a woman with BPD. Early 30's and she had kids. She took it all from me emotionally. Sometimes I felt like I was just making up how much it hurt.
She ended up cheating on me. I guess that was the one thing I couldn't make up. No...
I also had childhood trauma. Depression was always sitting on my shoulder waiting but I was able to keep it at bay till my late 30's. Then 2nd set of traumas and BAM.
When I was young I used to get a little jealous of the attention paid to other kids with tough life's. I am now seeing the...
This seems like you are celebrating you being right and everyoneelse wrong. We have all achieved this. It feels tremendous.
Sometimes we seek this feeling again. Sometimes we try hard. Sometimes we think we have done it all on our own and it leads to way worse feelings of failure.
I am by...
I could spring clean the yard today in 30 min.
I could have spent 5 minutes a week over winter keeping yard clean. 20 weeks x5 minutes 100 min. Total Win. I will have a feeling of accomplishment. I could have had that feeling 19 more times with 1/6 of the effort as this one. My one Win is...
I want to laugh. I want to smile. Be nice to make others smile.
I feel that's not what I need. Enough smiles and laughter. I don't know what I need but I know it's not what I want. Not now.
From my experience I have struggled with these faces regarding PTSD symptoms. There probably is a lack of understanding with most people. Yet most people do care.
Watching the wheels turn as they try to meanwhile appear empathetic is tough for me to watch. Something seems ungenuine.
I am...
In talks of PTSD results I can fit in.
I was very severely emotionaly abused.
No bruises.
No penetration.
I am only her because of the way I perceived a world and how it doesn't fit the script of the way others perceive it.
I can't show my scars. Is that offensive to those that can?
If...