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  1. Wendell_R

    Does anyone else feel euphoria?

    We remember the first time we did the grounding exercises in Coping with Trauma Related Dissociation, and a profound shift happening. That was a mild euphoria. Nowadays, our female parts often feel body euphoria. For so long, being in touch with our body's sensation was so forbidden. We find...
  2. Wendell_R

    Struggling with Conditioned Responses: Seeking Support

    We used academic achievement to avoid our terrors, too (double major, then Ph.D., then mid-career M.S.). Good luck on your journey, and hope you find the right balance in your life so that you can move forward. For what it's worth, we have a government research job, and not an academic job...
  3. Wendell_R

    DID New part

    Your journey sounds like it's in the right direction, even if it's hard and exhausting. After our female parts came out, we learned that life was better when one of them was in control, but that was only temporary because the male parts' hurts and loneliness was just hidden. Then we found that...
  4. Wendell_R

    Trauma therapy confusion

    Loneliness with DID is hard. We have had luck with establishing friendship and community within our system of parts, and also meeting a few people with DID through the Healing Together conference: Healing Together Conference | An Infinite Mind | International Organization Dedicated to DID ...
  5. Wendell_R

    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    Granola parfait, with vanilla Greek yoghurt, strawberries, & blueberries.
  6. Wendell_R

    Write a happy story in 3 words

    Enjoyed dinner outside.
  7. Wendell_R

    DID New part

    What would the new part like to be called? We're thinking that a good goal isn't to get them back in the box, but for the you-writing-the-post part to learn how to talk and be present with this new part, and for the new part to learn how to take part in that as well. The question that comes up...
  8. Wendell_R

    Higher frequency therapy

    I can see the huge difference in therapy response between my wife, who's been grieving about her parents and has made good progress with a handful of months of sessions, versus me, with dissociative disorder and heavy CPTSD from when we were very young. Dr. Google doesn't capture that...
  9. Wendell_R

    Higher frequency therapy

    Just to second Sideways' experience, I've been in therapy 2 1/2 hours a week for a few years, which was a big increase from the 45 min I did for a long time. Recently, my therapist and I just agreed to drop to 2 hours a week for now, and likely down to 1 1/4 hours in the near future.
  10. Wendell_R

    Therapist is leaving me

    I had a therapist give me almost zero notice when she came down with a serious health issue that needed immediate attention. The referrals that she found for me were an incredible blessing--she was better at sifting through some options for me than I was at the time, and I ended up with a very...
  11. Wendell_R

    Medical Hysterectomy - What to expect?

    I'm sorry this has been hard, and it makes sense that it's been hard. Wishing you good healing.
  12. Wendell_R

    Medical Hysterectomy - What to expect?

    I'm speaking as someone with a male body here, but I'll say that I've had two cases in our family where MRIs only told part of the story. Successful treatment came from the experience and observations of the doctors more than looking at the MRIs. Having the new doctor want to examine you is a...
  13. Wendell_R

    PTSD Imagery Rescripting

    When I went slow, it wasn't just going slow--my therapist and I were exploring what was pulling me into dissociation in the first place and addressing those things. When I was asked to imagine a safe place years ago, before I understood my dissociation, I could imagine a little room with...
  14. Wendell_R

    PTSD Imagery Rescripting

    I do a lot of imagination work, but my therapist and I don't leap into the trauma. There's a lot of work on imagining safe environments, safe supporting people, etc. Eventually, I have been able to go back and not so much as reimagine the trauma as much as imagine a different world. For...
  15. Wendell_R

    Drained after EMDR session - tips on how to get back to work full time? Step by step program?

    I find that the exhaustion is emotional and not physical, so resting with sleep or naps never seems to work. Walks outside are good for me. Soft music & self care. Books & tea.
  16. Wendell_R

    Getting stuck in sexual routines because that's the only safe thing to do

    "I would like to talk about X, but I find the subject overwhelming and would like to dip into this really slow." "I'm worried that as I learn to trust you, sexual feelings will come up, and I don't understand how we can have a safe relationship." It's important to go very slow and to...
  17. Wendell_R

    Getting stuck in sexual routines because that's the only safe thing to do

    A good therapist will have such rock-solid boundaries that any transference or fantasies that you have will not get in the way of your safety with them. Awkward? Yes. Safe? Absolutely.
  18. Wendell_R

    Getting stuck in sexual routines because that's the only safe thing to do

    I actually did this work in two phases. I used to have a CBT-trained therapist. She didn't have a trauma or sex-therapy background, but she was a great fit for me. What I did with her was buy a textbook on human sexuality, I would read a chapter by myself, and then I would come in and talk...
  19. Wendell_R

    Getting stuck in sexual routines because that's the only safe thing to do

    I'm in the middle of this. Personally, I'm not ready for a sex therapist--I'm guessing what they would see as baby steps I would see as immensely huge, impossible, & triggering steps. I bought one of the standard "sex for those recovering from trauma" books, but the first ten pages were so...
  20. Wendell_R

    Ideas For Making New Friends

    I hear the same thing from my daughter about dating apps and how frustrating it can be. She's given up and has met her close friends through a Unitarian Universalist spirituality group. Speaking for myself, it's on my list to try Meetup to meet some new people and see if anyone really...
  21. Wendell_R

    Have folks had much luck with tele-therapy?

    Maybe it's a rational fear? It's harder to read people over the phone/computer.
  22. Wendell_R

    Positive Coping Skills Thread

    Grounding exercises. This was very important early in my treatment. Taking walks & being outdoors. This is the biggest one of all. Journaling, but not to excess. Because I have strong parts, checking in and figuring out who is upset. Making a to-do list. I think this is a form of...
  23. Wendell_R

    Is my PTSD therapist gas-lighting me into thinking I now have a personality disorder?

    This is EXACTLY what my therapist does. She's advanced enough in EMDR that she's a consultant and helps with EMDR training events. So your research is spot on. Personally, it took me a lot of gentleness so I didn't associate EMDR with being hit (the tap-tap-tap triggered me a lot). And even...
  24. Wendell_R

    Is "Coping with Trauma-related Dissociation" (by Suzette Boon) good for using by yourself?

    I like this book a lot. Right at the beginning in the Introduction, I recognized myself and didn't feel as alone in the world. The exercises are a mixed bag for me. I think that says more about the variety of CPTSD than the book! I learned grounding methods for the first time, and that was...
  25. Wendell_R

    Have folks had much luck with tele-therapy?

    Yes, it has worked for me. Although I miss meeting in person and think therapy would have gone a bit faster in person, I've found that teletherapy does work. My therapist can see me well enough to read my non-verbal communication. I have felt safe enough that I have been able to be vulnerable.