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  1. J

    JFF - Shall I dye my hair black?

    Going to a college for hair and beauty is a great idea!
  2. J

    You know what's really annoying about ptsd… The mother of all panic attacks

    .......when you're "doing really well" post therapy ending, and suddenly 1 single piece of news causes the mother of all panic attacks, catastrophsizing, hyperventilating, tears galore......you get the gist. All happening at 3.44am, and because of this piece of news you need to go look after...
  3. J

    JFF - Shall I dye my hair black?

    How about trying a semi permanent black, like Artic fox, crazy colour or dimensions? They all typically last 12-28 washes depending on the brand/your starting colour, and super easy to do yourself at home. I say do whatever makes you feel more you, more happy in your own skin. life is too short...
  4. J

    Death The Pain of Mother's Day for a Grieving Mother

    Thank you for reading my post and responding with such kind words and understanding. I'm so sorry you've also lost 2 of your children, it's an unfair world at times. We lost 3 babies many years ago to early miscarriage, and then got pregnant with our miracle ivf babies. We lost twin 1 quite...
  5. J

    Death The Pain of Mother's Day for a Grieving Mother

    So in the UK its mother's day, and as all of my babies died before/during birth, it's pretty painful. My partner is currently working away, and bless his heart, he'd arranged flowers and card delivery to me. So so beautiful, and I'm so thankful he is so willing and able to share his grief and...
  6. J

    I Budged the Needle! Biggest Accomplishment in YEARS! Re: Moving Away From Self Hatred

    This is HUGE! Massive congrats! It's not odd to think of this as an accomplishment (although I totally appreciate why it can feel that way). But it is definitely a brilliant accomplishment to be able to receive and recognise that change, regardless of how small it may feel. As joeylittle quite...
  7. J

    How Did You Sleep Last Night?

    Last night, not too bad, however I slept in reeeeeealy late! The night before I only managed a few hours. I just couldn't shut off and then had a full day of work, so I'm assuming the previous night just wiped me out. I don't always remember my nightmares, but know I've had a bad dream if that...
  8. J

    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    Well as we've had gastroenteritis for the past 6 days, not much! 🤣🤦‍♀️. Starting to feel better though, so managed soup and bread tonight woo hoo!
  9. J

    EMDR T asking odd request

    A friend who has been through a similar type of trauma as myself has been doing EMDR for a little while now with T suggesting it may be time to finish in a fee weeks, but she's not finding it particularly useful In this situation, when the patient is adamant a particular place/room is too...
  10. J

    Poll Are You Artistic?

    I'm a hair stylist and nail tech, so artistic flair is kinda part of the job I guess. In my spare time I like to draw, albeit very infrequent these days. I also did some painting during bereavement therapy, mainly because she kept pushing me to write (letters, journals and stories etc), but I...
  11. J

    Doubting If Trauma “Counts” - Overcoming Self-Doubt in Validating Childhood Sexual Abuse Trauma

    I'm so sorry for all the trauma and distress you've been through and still are. That all sounds like a horrific amount of trauma throughout your life. The thing is, part of ptsd is the brain trying to disbelieve the truth, pretend it didn't happen, it wasn't that bad, you're over exaggerating...
  12. J

    The Halloween thread

    Really sorry to hear that. I'm not working halloween this year, and partner has just had an op so no dressing up for us either. Sounds silly because it's not like we would go to a big party or anything, but I'm gutted too because I love Halloween and had already bought an outfit etc. Made a cute...
  13. J

    I served my abuser at work today.

    Oh wow, again, a huge step in speaking to others and getting that action plan in place. That's amazing that you've been able to speak up and advocate for yourself. That is by no means an easy task, so I really hope you see how well you are doing, (even if it may not feel like it right now), and...
  14. J

    The Halloween thread

    I flippin love halloween, which for someone in the UK is a rarity, and seen as a bit odd lol. I've decorated my porch (not that we get trick or treaters much), I just love the decorations. I've also put some decorations in my living room with candles and tealights for Halloween movie night! I'm...
  15. J

    The Halloween thread

    That's not cheating, that's ingenious!
  16. J

    Great, something new to stress over! - The tiniest of things are now leaving my stomach in knots.

    Thank you so much for replying. It all makes sense to me, and your article on the stress cup was really interesting. I've always been a bit of a self confessed nerd 🤣, and proud of it! I'm not particularly clever in all fairness, I always seemed to have to work harder than my peers to gain...
  17. J

    Uncontrollable thoughts about my purpose

    I'm so sorry to hear you're having these constant thoughts. It sounds really distressing and confusing. I'm no expert, however not knowing your "purpose" other than what you've always believed is a huge part of my own struggles. The truth is, we should all be allowed to make/find our own...
  18. J

    Great, something new to stress over! - The tiniest of things are now leaving my stomach in knots.

    So as some of you may have seen, I recently explained some of the reasons for my trauma. I'm still working on the whole not comparing your trauma to anyone else's, but hey, it's a start just posting it here! Well, last week in the UK was baby loss awareness week (I volunteer for and run our...
  19. J

    You Know You Have PTSD When...

    ......when someone else suffers a similar trauma to you and you're mentally and physically screwed for days .......when 2.30am is no longer a bizarre time to be awake .......when stress related heartburn is your new normal .......when your therapist sees you more than your own family...
  20. J

    You Know You Have PTSD When...

    Omg no.7 had me in stitches!!!
  21. J

    Finally opening up

    No harm there at all, honestly. I really appreciate your honestly and logically acknowledging that grief is painful. And you hit the nail on the head with all the plans and hopes for the future. Don't don't loose just one person in your life, you loose all the firsts, the milestones, who they'll...
  22. J

    Finally opening up

    Oh definitely, over the years where life expectancy grew, our ability to deal with death significantly lessened! In victorian days my baby would have been posed for photos with us, dressed beautifully and familiy/friends visiting with condolences and goodbyes to our little girl. Instead it was...
  23. J

    Finally opening up

    Ironically, the medical profession weren't half as bad with the judgement as the rest of society was (and still is in some respects). Its almost like the death of a child is just too horrible to think about so no one wants to hear it and wants you to be quiet. I'm grateful things are slowly...
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