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  1. BlueWeepingRose

    Does Your Body Shake When You Talk About Trauma?

    Last night my body was shaking as I was talking to my Mom about my father, and the SA that's he's done to me when I was a child. I didn't want to tell her about the shakes, because she's stressing out a lot as it is. Does your body shake when you talk about trauma? This is the first time it's...
  2. BlueWeepingRose

    Dom Violence I still have guilt and shame over sexual assault

    I noticed nobody really responded to my thread. =\
  3. BlueWeepingRose

    What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

    Earlier I was feeling pretty down and crying, but I'm feeling a lot better now.
  4. BlueWeepingRose

    Are You Pushing Yourself?

    In the past yes, I will say I was trying to push myself harder on the symptoms that I was going through and try to push the process to heal. Now though, I'm focusing more on self-care and trying to take it easy. The more I tried to push myself, the more exhausted I felt inside. That's what I...
  5. BlueWeepingRose

    Dom Violence I still have guilt and shame over sexual assault

    It still affects me deeply. I'm so glad I'm in therapy and my therapist has been helping. The more I talk with her about it, the I can see how abusive my ex-boyfriend was, but I still have guilt and shame over the SA, there are times when I feel disgusting and I can't look at myself in the...
  6. BlueWeepingRose

    I broke down over the weekend

    This has been long overdue but I thought the need to mention this before I forget. This past weekend I broke down and was sobbing. It was so severe that my body was shaking and I couldn't stop crying. It just kept coming and coming. Things are improving with my therapist, but I can tell...
  7. BlueWeepingRose

    Sleeping half the day after opening up

    Thank you for responding to my thread. I was so confused as to why I was sleeping so much. My parents, we're worried and that it was depressing but I felt so worn out from talking about everything that has happened to me. I can tell I'm improving though and this makes me feel hopeful.
  8. BlueWeepingRose

    Sleeping half the day after opening up

    I've been opening up more to my T about everything. My last session was the other day. Today I slept halfway through the day. It could be because I'm so worn out by everything. My PTSD symptoms are getting better. This is something I'm noticing the more I open up about what happened to me with...
  9. BlueWeepingRose

    Quote Of The Day

    "When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go." — Carol Burnett
  10. BlueWeepingRose

    What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

    I just want people to accept me for who I am and not just see me as a victim, I don't tell people my business or anything... but I guess my eyes say everything. I don't always smile so sometimes I have to practice in the mirror to smile. I just want people to talk with me and get to know me...
  11. BlueWeepingRose

    How Did You Sleep Last Night?

    Last night I actually slept good and didn't have any nightmares for once. That's a plus! Because I normally have horrible nightmares and wake up sweating.
  12. BlueWeepingRose

    What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

    My dog Ruby. I put on some meditation music and I see how she's so comfy and relaxed by the music. She's honestly the sweetest dog ever! 🥰
  13. BlueWeepingRose

    I Realize That I

    I realized that I'm a very compassionate person. My abuser would claim up and down what a horrible person I was and have me believe these horrible things about myself. Now I'm finally seeing good things about myself. I'm so glad I'm healing in therapy.
  14. BlueWeepingRose

    Deeply Depressed

    Right now things are hard, I'm going to therapy and facing everything, but right now I'm struggling with how I'm feeling. I feel completely numb and sad about everything. At this moment I'm also dealing with grief and it's hard for people to understand. I haven't talked to many of my friends...
  15. BlueWeepingRose

    One Thing That Made You Smile Today?

    Watching The Whitest Kids You Know skits on Youtube. They always put a smile on my face. :)
  16. BlueWeepingRose

    What Are You Looking Forward To?

    I'm looking forward to September, so I can visit my best friend Kristin. 🙂
  17. BlueWeepingRose

    I Realize That I

    The one thing I realized about myself is that I need an emotional and intellectual connection with someone first before I begin to feel anything for someone. When people mention sex to me right off the bat, I feel very uncomfortable about it. I need to have a strong connection with someone first...
  18. BlueWeepingRose

    Relationship Anxiety and Triggers

    I've thought more about the relationship tonight. He's always had a thing for me, my brother killed himself back in 2019. When we got into a relationship, he said he wanted a serious relationship with me, even mentioning me moving in with him. The thing was that stuck out to me, I was crying a...
  19. BlueWeepingRose

    Relationship Anxiety and Triggers

    I tried to start a new relationship. Everything was going great between both of us, he wanted a serious relationship and I wanted the same thing. We we're together for a few months even. I think I may have trusted him too much though because he ended up breaking up with me, and I didn't see this...
  20. BlueWeepingRose

    Last movie or tv series you watched?

    The last TV series I watched was Creepshow on Shudder. I am truly loving this series and glad I decided to check it out.
  21. BlueWeepingRose

    How Did You Sleep Last Night?

    Last night I got decent sleep and had no nightmares. I woke up feeling really refreshed. :)
  22. BlueWeepingRose

    I Realize That I

    I realized that all my symptoms regarding me getting abused was alerting me to leave my abuser, but I still believed everything he said when he said I was crazy and needed help. I used to blame myself for this, but I've come to terms that none of it was my fault and now I know better. To trust...
  23. BlueWeepingRose

    Name all the ways you have started healing

    The one thing I'm proud of myself is not abusing pain pills anymore in order to numb PTSD, and my trauma. I was literally trying to self-medicate myself and in the end I'm glad I stopped and got the help and support I needed from my family. I've come a long way and I'm glad I'm not trying to...