I don’t know what you mean. I wasn’t offended. And I have no idea how that relates to the conversation.
I simply pointed something out, to consider, when supporting someone with ptsd.
Which is, Avoidance is a symptom of a mental illness. You can’t just ‘do something else’…because, that’s...
Definitely, and leave the responsibility for what she does with her.
The question for you is not: how do I fix her so this is something I can cope with? You aren’t her therapist, or her sponsor, or her mother. You can’t fix her.
The question is: how do I set healthy boundaries with this...
In your post, you detailed simple ways for a person with ptsd to reach out and let you know what’s happening.
But, Avoidance isn’t just a thing that sufferers tend to do. It’s one of the criteria to actually be diagnosed with PTSD. Avoidance - to the point that its causing problems with...
How does this statement fit with the next part:
The threshold for being a good partner isn’t “he doesn’t rape me anymore”.
You deserve to feel safe in your own home.
And to be honest, if you feel that unsafe around him, then your children know that he’s not a safe person, and they’re...
Can you lower your expectations for yourself a bit?
For me? There’s been plenty of times where I reached the point where my brain was telling me “you can’t go back into that therapy space, it isn’t safe”. Anticipatory anxiety (panicking about the prospect of panicking) had me basically...
The most useful stuff from therapy always comes from the most difficult sessions.
Not all difficult sessions are useful. But mostly, they tend to be.
How will the rest of you learn that your life isn’t in danger anymore, if you don’t confront that fear?
It almost doesn’t matter if the...
Do you think additional emails about the issue are likely to help resolve the matter?
My thoughts: if you want to resolve this specific issue, what resolution are you seeking? That’s not clear in your email, and that would be what I would focus on.
If you’re not after a specific resolution...
Tbh, it sounds like a lot more than alcohol is going on for this person. Which is very often the case.
If it were me, and I didn’t consider her dangerous to me, I’d probably recommend that she get help. I’d be direct about: you’re drunk, and you really don’t seem okay. I think you should try...
I personally wouldn’t wait for middle ground to get in person support.
I would wait some degree of stabilisation before doing certain types of therapy (like exposure work, or EMDR). But one of the things that works for both depression and PTSD is talk-based therapy. Learning skills to help...
You’re not a horrible person. It makes perfect sense that you want a life where you aren’t abused.
Yes, you can.
You can also talk to her about your fears about foster care, group homes, and the importance of your cats.
I don’t buy this.
We’ve had a string of recent Commissions and Inquiries into child sex abuse here in Australia recently, so we’ve got a shittonne of fact-based evidence to draw conclusions from.
When you don’t treat pedophilic behaviour as criminal, the thing that most typically happens? Is...
Maybe time to add some new skills? Have you ever tried ACT?
The reason I suggest that in particular, is it’s very focused on the here and now. Mindfulness, and learning how to use mindfulness to actually change how we experience the world we’re in, is a big part of ACT.
The nice thing about...
It isn’t intimacy without vulnerability. That’s the problem with online relationships.
There’s no vulnerability required, even if you try to be vulnerable, you can also switch off at a second’s notice.
Vulnerability is scary. But if you can tackle that, the rewards are profound.
Emptying out the stress cup with additional self care and de-stressing activities always helps me cope with additional stressors.
But for a specific task? I’d be setting goals (probably a certain amount of time each day), setting specific times that I’m going to work on the task and then have...
There are lots of reasons that people in relationships leave the relationship and cut contact.
One of those reasons is escaping a DV situation.
Another reason is the person has ptsd and is symptomatic.
Those two reasons for the same behaviour are most often entirely unrelated.
This is the...
I lived in a pretty shit place for quite a long while, and a couple of my neighbours were pretty damn awful.
Ultimately, I moved. And while the new situation is far from perfect, it’s allowed me to move on with my life. So, well worth it.
Yep. During my major depressive episode (which went on and on, for years), life was all about acting in spite of how I felt.
Not wanting to do anything, not being able to enjoy anything, just wanting to be alone.
And having to keep doing regardless.
It was very shit.