Search results

  1. Sideways

    General Consistency

    I don’t know what you mean. I wasn’t offended. And I have no idea how that relates to the conversation. I simply pointed something out, to consider, when supporting someone with ptsd. Which is, Avoidance is a symptom of a mental illness. You can’t just ‘do something else’…because, that’s...
  2. Sideways

    Friends Who Drink

    Definitely, and leave the responsibility for what she does with her. The question for you is not: how do I fix her so this is something I can cope with? You aren’t her therapist, or her sponsor, or her mother. You can’t fix her. The question is: how do I set healthy boundaries with this...
  3. Sideways

    General Consistency

    In your post, you detailed simple ways for a person with ptsd to reach out and let you know what’s happening. But, Avoidance isn’t just a thing that sufferers tend to do. It’s one of the criteria to actually be diagnosed with PTSD. Avoidance - to the point that its causing problems with...
  4. Sideways

    General Consistency

    Got a mental illness? Just be normal.
  5. Sideways

    What to do with this relationship? Coping with Sexual Assaults In Long Term Relationship.

    How does this statement fit with the next part: The threshold for being a good partner isn’t “he doesn’t rape me anymore”. You deserve to feel safe in your own home. And to be honest, if you feel that unsafe around him, then your children know that he’s not a safe person, and they’re...
  6. Sideways

    A Turn Away From Dissociation: The Association Thread

  7. Sideways

    Email fallout with T - need advice please

    Can you lower your expectations for yourself a bit? For me? There’s been plenty of times where I reached the point where my brain was telling me “you can’t go back into that therapy space, it isn’t safe”. Anticipatory anxiety (panicking about the prospect of panicking) had me basically...
  8. Sideways

    Email fallout with T - need advice please

    The most useful stuff from therapy always comes from the most difficult sessions. Not all difficult sessions are useful. But mostly, they tend to be. How will the rest of you learn that your life isn’t in danger anymore, if you don’t confront that fear? It almost doesn’t matter if the...
  9. Sideways

    Email fallout with T - need advice please

    Do you think additional emails about the issue are likely to help resolve the matter? My thoughts: if you want to resolve this specific issue, what resolution are you seeking? That’s not clear in your email, and that would be what I would focus on. If you’re not after a specific resolution...
  10. Sideways

    Can fantasies change?

    Mod Note: @Shaylee - I’ve moved your post temporarily. Please get in touch via Contact Us.
  11. Sideways

    Friends Who Drink

    Tbh, it sounds like a lot more than alcohol is going on for this person. Which is very often the case. If it were me, and I didn’t consider her dangerous to me, I’d probably recommend that she get help. I’d be direct about: you’re drunk, and you really don’t seem okay. I think you should try...
  12. Sideways

    Zoloft and depression

    I personally wouldn’t wait for middle ground to get in person support. I would wait some degree of stabilisation before doing certain types of therapy (like exposure work, or EMDR). But one of the things that works for both depression and PTSD is talk-based therapy. Learning skills to help...
  13. Sideways

    A Turn Away From Dissociation: The Association Thread

  14. Sideways

    Childhood Was it a sexual assault?

    You’re not a horrible person. It makes perfect sense that you want a life where you aren’t abused. Yes, you can. You can also talk to her about your fears about foster care, group homes, and the importance of your cats.
  15. Sideways

    Sexual Assault Can pedophiles become non-pedophiles?

    I don’t buy this. We’ve had a string of recent Commissions and Inquiries into child sex abuse here in Australia recently, so we’ve got a shittonne of fact-based evidence to draw conclusions from. When you don’t treat pedophilic behaviour as criminal, the thing that most typically happens? Is...
  16. Sideways

    Tried distractions to recover

    Ignoring things tends to not make them go away. In ptsd symptoms, that’s probably falling in the Avoidance cluster. Are you in therapy?
  17. Sideways

    Zoloft and depression

    Nope - the folks in the middle of the bellcurve who we call ‘normal’ typically experience a range of emotions. Sadness is only one of them. Are you supplementing your medication with therapy?
  18. Sideways

    I Feel Empty - Main Coping Mechanism During/After Abuse Is Disassociation

    Maybe time to add some new skills? Have you ever tried ACT? The reason I suggest that in particular, is it’s very focused on the here and now. Mindfulness, and learning how to use mindfulness to actually change how we experience the world we’re in, is a big part of ACT. The nice thing about...
  19. Sideways

    All I need is love

    It isn’t intimacy without vulnerability. That’s the problem with online relationships. There’s no vulnerability required, even if you try to be vulnerable, you can also switch off at a second’s notice. Vulnerability is scary. But if you can tackle that, the rewards are profound. As for...
  20. Sideways

    Dealing with unavoidable exposure to triggers - cycles of facing them/ dissociation and dysregulation/ avoidance, ad nauseum...

    Emptying out the stress cup with additional self care and de-stressing activities always helps me cope with additional stressors. But for a specific task? I’d be setting goals (probably a certain amount of time each day), setting specific times that I’m going to work on the task and then have...
  21. Sideways

    General Advice For Leaving Abusive Relationship Strangely Similar To Sufferers Who Isolate

    There are lots of reasons that people in relationships leave the relationship and cut contact. One of those reasons is escaping a DV situation. Another reason is the person has ptsd and is symptomatic. Those two reasons for the same behaviour are most often entirely unrelated. This is the...
  22. Sideways

    Cant think of reason to stay?

    Mod Note: We have a huge diversity in our membership from across the world. You’ll get all sorts of advice on the forum - not all of it will resonate. Take what helps, leave the rest.
  23. Sideways

    Other Neighbor terrorizes me despite protection order

    I lived in a pretty shit place for quite a long while, and a couple of my neighbours were pretty damn awful. Ultimately, I moved. And while the new situation is far from perfect, it’s allowed me to move on with my life. So, well worth it.
  24. Sideways

    Wanting to say "no" to everything but forcing myself to keep going

    Yep. During my major depressive episode (which went on and on, for years), life was all about acting in spite of how I felt. Not wanting to do anything, not being able to enjoy anything, just wanting to be alone. And having to keep doing regardless. It was very shit.
  25. Sideways

    I dont feel like i'm here. I've lost my sense of self and dont know what to do

    This could also be related to medication if you’re on any.