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    How can I come to terms with my mother being the enabler?

    I agree. Getting some distance and building up your own life is important... And over time, that distance may give you a more neutral stance and allow you to "re-set" the relationship to your mom, to some degree.
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    Function Meter

    So, I think this is part of the problem: I'm adding these things to my daily routine... hopefully this will help a bit... - Give myself some genuine credit for today's achievements - Compassionately acknowledge how very difficult my current situation is - Cut myself some slack - Spend some...
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    I think I may have *finally* broken the trauma bond

    Sorry it's taken a few days to reply... My communication skills are so impaired at the moment. I've been trying to think of another example of how to explain it... So, I'll use the example of what many of us survivors feel that "the sexual abuse was my fault". My old T, who did "normal" talk...
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    Function Meter

    Yah... that's the problem with this depression... literally nothing brings me joy/ connection/ laughter... It's really bad... I've got a few things on there which probably go in the category "peaceful"... Wellness type stuff... Self-care... Those items are on my list, yeah. But yah, meaning/...
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    Function Meter

    I'm still using this, still making good progress with it. Surprisingly, my new anti-depressant seems to be helping and I was so functional this week that I was out and about driving to appointments in different cities and getting so much done that I'd get home in the evening and collapse, too...
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    iv ketamine with very high dissociation levels

    Have you started the ketamine treatment @brokenpony and @Freemartin ? How is it going? I have an intake appt coming up for a possible ketamine spray treatment.
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    Possible Ketamine (spray) treatment

    So, I've progressed with this a bit... It's taken a while because my pdoc was off sick with Covid. The clinic that will be administering the treatment is calling me next week to set up the intake appointment. I guess there may still be issues that could arise during the intake process that...
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    Too much for my Therapist

    Oh... I also wanted to add that I think it's a normal and valuable part of therapy to be trying different things and working out what fits and what doesn't and communicating that to your T and the two of you adapting it to work better and better over time. This, to me, is like buying new hiking...
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    I feel so broken

    Are there any charities in your country that could provide some kind of support, so you could actually take a break? It sounds like your internal battery is depleted and needs recharging?
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    Too much for my Therapist

    I usually skip this bit in therapy, unless something seriously important has happened that my T needs to know or that I really need input on. If we talk about everything that's happened since the last session, we'd never get around to doing any actual trauma therapy. So with my last T and with...
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    Beginning Again

    Nice ☺️ It's good to see a positive experience bringing people together. It's been a rough time the last few years... We could do with more positive communal experiences, I reckon.
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    Beginning Again

    Very cool you got to experience it! I've only experienced a partial one, many years ago and that was very non-spectacular... More like an average cloud passing in front of the sun. But a full eclipse must be a different kettle of fish altogether. No wonder ancient cultures thought they were...
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    Beginning Again

    Ooh very cool... it looks dramatic and spooky ☺️
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    Improving Self Worth

    Wow, great progress Eve and great work! It must be a relief to finally see things moving in the right direction. 🙂 👍
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    Call Center employee - lack of Empathy

    I would find a different job then. I've worked in the complaints department of a call center before and was able to handle it fine. I think it's valid if you simply don't like that kind of work tho. I don't think the customers are going to change tho.
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    Strong feels

    Maybe the concept of a "dating life" is something you can outgrow? Maybe it can be more about you being real and connecting authentically to other people who are being real? That's what I mean... A shift of perception... Maybe it's time to outgrow that whole concept? Maybe you're right and a...
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    It is the wounded oyster that heals itself with the pearl. (No replies here please, this is just an accountability thread)

    I'm currently working through: Healing the Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw (audiobook) and Dark Nights of the Soul by Thomas Moore (not an audiobook, but I'm using the read-aloud function on the Kindle) So much that resonates in both of these. Particularly the first one is so jarringly...
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    It is the wounded oyster that heals itself with the pearl. (No replies here please, this is just an accountability thread)

    I want to use this as a personal accountability thread. I'm asking for no replies here because I think I need to just get stuff out of my head without input from others. However, writing a private journal doesn't seem to work because it taps into the isolation aspect of my childhood too much...
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    Strong feels

    Hmm... this is kind of the definition of self-defeat, isn't it? Aren't you attempting to GROW in life? To TRANSCEND stuff and attain new insights? To get to know yourself, others and life on a deeper level? Do you know that quote about insanity being when you keep repeating the same stuff but...
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    General Lack of motivation

    Why do you say this? It's probably what would be most helpful.
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    Sexual Assault Can my abuser see me undress after death

    Hmm, I dunno... I think you're going to have to distance yourself from this way of thinking as something that was a childhood conviction, sort of like we used to believe in Santa Claus and now, as adults we're more realistic. I mean, think about it, if dead people were watching over us like...
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    Feeling hopeless about my depression

    I'm on a new SSRI, Escitalopram. I've been on it for about 2 weeks at 5 mg. Can you tell me what to expect?
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    Issues with SSRI - Citalopram

    I'm still on the Escitalopram, still on 5 mg. I seem to be tolerating it okay. I feel like it's making me restless and irritable tho. I suppose that's not too bad in terms of side-effects. I find those kinds of shift in mood disconcerting tho. I also keep forgetting that it's probably a...
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    Strong feels

    As some one who has PTSD and has also had several partners with PTSD, I see this a bit differently. Many of us with trauma end up kind of "fractured". We split off our trauma and keep it hidden. Often, when we're subjected to abuse, for example, we're taught to keep that stuff hidden and...
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    News News piece about veterans using VR to treat PTSD

    Dr. Erin Fletcher from the Wounded Warrior Project explains how veterans can join the program.