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    Saw a recording of myself which shows the depth of my angry and violent thoughts - how can I manage the monster inside of me?

    I have been once before for a reasonable period of time; I also went back last August/September for two sessions but had to stop since I was moving house at the time and starting a new job - I kept on having to reschedule sessions so I quit. I am hesitant to go to therapy since my core issue is...
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    Saw a recording of myself which shows the depth of my angry and violent thoughts - how can I manage the monster inside of me?

    I have been humiliated many occasions in my life, and often pre-occupied with fantasies of revenge against the people who hurt or humiliated me - the fantasies usually take the form of verbal and emotional abuse at the person who humiliated me, either taunting them or explicitly hurting them...
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    I don't feel connected to some of my ''closest friends'' - inverted comma's are crucial here to be honest.

    Your point resonates with me, about friendships not being ''fixed'' - and that I should take the positive from the fact I have friends who, even if I don't ''vibe'' with are still treating me well. As mentioned, I think the key here is to focus on my own self and psychological growth and let...
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    I don't feel connected to some of my ''closest friends'' - inverted comma's are crucial here to be honest.

    Since my early teens until most of my adult life, I never developed a solid sense of confident identity. There were phases here and there, but overall I struggled to build up a consistent, assertive, and confident sense of self. The reason is that I was a source of humiliation during my teenage...
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    Friendships which don't feel right at all, and feel completely against my identity.

    Hello and thanks everyone for your feedback - I haven't logged on since last weekend, hence my delayed response to this. Everything you say is correct about co-dependency, boundaries, and feeling I'm responsible for other people's feelings. It's no way to live, but unfortunately has been a very...
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    Friendships which don't feel right at all, and feel completely against my identity.

    There is no real benefit of staying in the whatsapp group. It's just there are a couple of people from that group who I do click with a bit.... and I still have sporadic contact with the other members. It would look very random/strange to them if I just left randomly. I can't escape the...
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    Undiagnosed Undiagnosed CPTSD but feel I fit some of the criteria

    I have never been diagnosed with anything, just went to counselling therapy for a 4/5 month period 10 years ago. But still battling with things.... and guess I found myself here.
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    Undiagnosed Undiagnosed CPTSD but feel I fit some of the criteria

    29 year old male. Had a really happy, safe, and secure upbringing from a loving home. Then when I went into high school I quickly became known as the 'school clown', and not in a good way. The whole school of 700 students knew me, and it wasn't long until I couldn't go anywhere in my school...
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    Friendships which don't feel right at all, and feel completely against my identity.

    29 year old male. I have never been diagnosed with CTPSD but I have read about it and can relate to much of it. I don't want to write loads about my background, but anxiety, OCD, social anxiety, insomnia, and a fragmented identity have been central to my life. Any ways, my issue is that I have...
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    How do you recharge in tough times?

    When it reaches this point, I think it's good to identify things which you enjoy doing - and allow yourself `1-3 days, even a full week, of those activities. Personally I enjoy leisurely time of discovering new music (and applying this to my own musical instrument practice) and also enjoy...
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