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  1. Starfire

    Need advice serious depression

    I had a friend tell me once that I should just follow the words of the Prophet Nike. (Just do it) Doesn't have to feel good. Can make me cry, feel angry whatever. Just do it.
  2. Starfire

    Triggered in session due to therapist behavior

    Your T is suppose to be in a charge of leading your session to your benefit. Doesn't seem she was capable of doing that. To be crass, she couldn't do the job you paid her to do. At the very least she should have cancelled the session for medical reasons or just plain not feeling well...
  3. Starfire

    I don't know what to do now. Complaint about my treatment got rejected.

    You stood up for yourself and kept your dignity in tact. That was the most important and bravest part. You never know what's going on behind the Bureaucratic curtain. Perhaps your example will spur somebody or some bodies to do the same. Or yours will be the complaint that catches the eye of...
  4. Starfire

    Hey, really concerned I'm reaching the end of my tether and will end it soon

    Do you really want to continue the cycle of abuse with your children? You have given her a lot of power over your life. It is really hard fixing that. Sometimes it's easier to start new rather than fix something as long as you really want to change. A friend compared it to an old car. Sometimes...
  5. Starfire

    Training my Siberian husky as a service dog for PTSD?

    If in US, go up to DOJ website to find the rules. You may need to technically get a psychiatric SD specializing in PTSD. Usually, unless an expert trainer, you will need to find a school or certified service dog trainer. For example, my dog knows how to move safely thru a crowd, maneuver thru...
  6. Starfire

    Sufferer Medical Trauma/Told I deserved it.

    Totally understand. That's why I don't tell my medical doctor of my psych dx. Even pay my psych Doc out of pocket, a real pain in my wallet, so insurance doesn't know and can't spread the info. Was recently unexpectedly hospitalized for a serious infection, my psych doc came to visit and offered...
  7. Starfire

    Life span integration therapy?

    My therapist has suggested trying Life Span Integration therapy. Has anyone tried it? How did it go?
  8. Starfire

    One reason you keep going?

    Found a shirt that says: what if it works out? So I hang around somethings to prove that wrong or somethings just to see.
  9. Starfire

    Stuck in a cycle of suicidal thoughts, not sad just tired.

    Was thinking like this just the other day. But then realized I don't know what *better* or good is. Is this feeling good? Bought a shirt that says ...... What if it all works out? Have no idea what that would look like.Have been like this all my life no matter what has been tried. When some one...
  10. Starfire

    Other Severe lack of trust in medicine and healthcare "professionals"

    I was literally bit in the eye by some bug. In a nanosecond eye was swollen shut. Thought it just needed washing out but couldn't get eye open and it seemed glued shut. Sounded like a trip to (USA) Urgent care. When I arrived was told they had no appointments.Triage was called. Yup. It was...
  11. Starfire

    Childhood navigating not knowing if i am traumatized but having Symptoms that scare me

    Respect your feelings. It would be nice to say x happened therefore y resulted and here's how to fix it. I wanted the last one so badly. Worked for it for years. Then appeared a (trauma) therapist who didn't seem to care much about the past. He said let's focus on making your life now better and...
  12. Starfire

    Thinking you could have saved yourself from csa

    I use to think the same thing. If only I were smarter, if only I had told someone other than the one I did, called the police, fought them off, knew to scream even tho they threatened me, could have figured out this is not normal.............. But I wasn't. My fault Then my T told me to...
  13. Starfire


    Up North too
  14. Starfire

    How do i help myself???

    Think the best advice I was given was Do what's in front of you. Time for breakfast fix a healthy one. No clean clothes concentrate on the laundry. Exercise time, establish a routine. Feeling overwhelmed, slow down, concentrate on what calms you. Writing here, talk to supporters, play with your...
  15. Starfire

    I’m So Angry

    Great to hear! Righteous anger!!
  16. Starfire

    Talking about suicidal thoughts/suicidal ideation

    I've found that talking about this with anyone but a trained person/therapist only makes me feel worse. People who have never felt this way, can't understand. So then I would feel guilty and worried about them. My T agreed to schedule extra sessions and having someone, my T, willing to talk...
  17. Starfire

    I’m So Angry

    Sounds to me that it is an excuse he gives his family to say it's not my fault, it's hers. Also sounds like he is looking for a good time, not a real relationship. Nothing wrong with that as long as both people are on the same page. I have a couple friends that I can call to party with but...
  18. Starfire

    Had flashback in public

    Unfortunately those darn episodes happen. I've made up cards based on what the UK has. It says I have PTSD then Do'S and Don'ts. Originally developed to give to a first responder. But discovered it worked for me if I just list things that work for me. I can read grounding: stomp feet...
  19. Starfire

    Does anybody want to join in being a routine buddy (“accountability” partner)?

    This may be a technicality... But I belonged briefly to a group that, in my opinion, degenerated into this. A competition. *I did 6 things you only did 4. I win*. I would love seeing what others are doing and usurping their great ideas. Want help to just keeping before me what I need to do. Too...
  20. Starfire

    Labels and struggling with people knowing

    Know I'm probably in the minority but I go on a need to know prerequisite. Perhaps cuz I have seen it used against people. For me it has nothing to do with shame. It's my private business. The world does not need to know. Unless it affects my job, neither does my boss. Same with acquaintances...
  21. Starfire

    Childhood Dealing with a plethora of triggers, often unknown

    Yes. I hated doing this but it did help. Keep a record for a period of time. Was having a hard time didn't know why. Wrote everything down for at least a week. As I said I hated it but it did show me some patterns when I looked back. Helped me anticipate the feelings following trigger. Who would...
  22. Starfire

    Childhood How do you deal with trauma like CSA that you aren't sure even happened?

    Was once I once heard it said that people don't make this stuff up and they don't suffer from the symptoms if nothing happened. The details may not ever be known. Exactly what cousin did exactly what, may not be relevant. May just be retraumatizing.
  23. Starfire

    Advice on telling my therapist about self-harm

    You could write it down in letter or email form. Sometimes, at least the first time, it's easier than speaking. You get to choose the words and how much or little you disclose. And for me, stay on point. Not chicken out! I've discovered there is hardly anything I can possibly tell my T that he...
  24. Starfire

    Relax and do nothing....or get up and do more?

    I make a list of things that absolutely have to be done every day. It also depends if more anxiety or depression. For me if it's anxiety, I can't sit still. I try not to interact with people but be busy. If it's depression, I rest more. I need to be cautious that I don't ruminate on something...
  25. Starfire

    I don't know how to deal with my depression

    Understand. Sitting here trying to think of a good excuse to cancel therapy today. It's raining. It's windy. Can't decide what to wear. Just not up to it. Can't lie to therapist so car trouble is out. Just last week things were great. Pig Pen's cloud over my head.