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    How can I scape from myself?

    Lately I have been feeling extremely down if I'm being honest, and I could blame it a lot on other people and circumstances, but it has been honestly my fault. I wish I could scape my head for just five minutes, I feel like my mind is a jail that I'm going to be trapped in forever, and I'm never...
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    I finally slept well again!

    For the last month I've been having trouble sleeping, where I will have constant nightmares or even sleep paralysis and wake up every few hours. I tought it was a natural part of my processing of trauma, but today for the first time since then I didn't sleep at my house and I slept incredibly...
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    Not knowing what love is

    As someone who feel like they have to be 100% presentable, covered up and clean or else feels extremely disgusting I relate to this a lot. It sounds like something so stupid if you think about it well but some things just get wired on our brain and some don't, it's a very weird reality I'm so...
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    Not knowing what love is

    I know this sounds stupid but I think I have no concept of what love is at all or how does it feels like. Not only romantic but any kind of love. This came up on a visit to my student counselor who is giving me psychotherapy until I can have a safe way to speak to a T, where she asked me what do...
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    Having possible abuse scenarios play out in my head

    I needed to hear this. I thought that maybe because they happen so suddenly I will just have to learn to live with them from now on thank you :) That's interesting, I always thought that it was only that if it involved positive daydreaming, which I definitely had. Specially during lockdown, I...
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    Having possible abuse scenarios play out in my head

    So instead of having flashbacks like used to have, lately I have been having scenarios play out in my mind of my abuser harming me, raping me, or trying to kill me again and while it happens it will feel completely real, I will completely stop what I'm doing and be paralyzed in fear with no way...
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    On hypervigilance after a long time

    I completely agree with you, I just don't know what measures to do. I feel like when I finally tell anyone what happened, what it made me feel and that I'm scared no one will be believe me. I have been trying to bring up the topic to my dad but he just refuses to talk about it. I have thought...
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    On hypervigilance after a long time

    She just doesn't know any boundaries, that's why I started writting here (she is bad with technology). I used to have a dairy but once she found it and started looking for it everywhere until I threw it away. She also checks on me regularly, and when she is on a crisis she does it like every 10...
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    On hypervigilance after a long time

    Thank you for answering me :) Right now my mother isn't on a crisis, so there isn't really much to hide from, I just was on fight or flight mode but didn't know why, but even so I'm better hiding at my room. Both my dad my dad's mom know about the sexual abuse, but neither of them did anything...
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    On hypervigilance after a long time

    I think I'm finally starting to calm down thank you so much for your help :) I don't know why this happened to me, ever since I realized the abuse I feel like I have been changing a lot
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    On hypervigilance after a long time

    I'm never good at calming myself but I'm going to try. I need to calm down I'm so scared
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    On hypervigilance after a long time

    I just want to lock my door, all I wish is to be able to lock my door, I feel so nervous that my mom might enter, I don't know why, I'm normally not on the lookout for my mother unless she is on a crisis. I'm normally not like this which is good since even when she is not a crisis she loves to...
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    How to cure myself alone or online

    Thank you for worrying about me :) I have found some but I'm scared to call to be honest. I'm scared of being misinterpreted and have my mom done something as a result, but I will try not to be a coward haha
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    Sexual Assault How can I let people know it upsets me when they touch me without being rude or telling them my abuse?

    Thank you all for your answers :) I live in Mexico, so people tend to be a little touchy here haha, but I will try to say others that it makes me feel uncomfortable without explaining myself, it was just my big worries of not wanting to upset anyone
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    Sexual Assault How can I let people know it upsets me when they touch me without being rude or telling them my abuse?

    Ever since I was abused I hate being touched. This only happens if their skin touches mine, if I'm wearing clothes where they touch me this doesn't happen, no idea why. This wasn't a problem before since I wasn't that close to anyone, or we had social distancing, but lately this is becoming a...
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    How to cure myself alone or online

    I'm not sure since I live in Mexico, but I will look for them, thanks :)
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    Sexual Assault If my abuser said she doesn't remember the sexual assault, should I believe her?

    Thank you all for your answers :) Since I realized that I experienced sexual assault when I was 10 by my mother during one of her crisis a month ago (I only not say rape because it had nothing sexual, she at the time had a crisis and was obsessed that everyone outside our house was sick and...
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    Sexual Assault If my abuser said she doesn't remember the sexual assault, should I believe her?

    Thank you for answering me, sorry for not explaining well I didn't ask her directly if she had committed the abuse but the topic came out about another thing she did to me and my brother (she killed our dog) since I see her regularly, and she said that she doesn't remember anything that happens...
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    Sexual Assault If my abuser said she doesn't remember the sexual assault, should I believe her?

    She didn't said explicitly that she doesn't remember the assault, but it happened while she was on a crisis and she says she doesn't remembers anything that happens on her crisis. There have been times where it seems like that it isn't true though. For example, she can remember events that...
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    How to cure myself alone or online

    So basically my abuser was my mother, which I'm living with right now and since I'm not allowed to do anything on my own there is no way for me to go to a therapist or anywhere really, as well as I can't afford anything. Are there any good resources or online help that you would recommend?
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