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    Sexual Assault Audible Orgasm During Rape

    I feel the law is so arbitrary in what is considered what type of crime or a crime at all and what actions deserves what level of punishment, so on that front not really. However, if I think about it in terms of spiritual crimes/violation of human rights that does help me put the blame back on...
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    Sexual Assault Audible Orgasm During Rape

    Thank you so much for your response. Man, this sucks. <3 Glad it seems like you don't think that way anymore. I've had multiple as well, which makes it so hard to avoid self-blame. Hope you're hanging in there.
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    Sexual Assault Audible Orgasm During Rape

    Hey. I haven't been on here in a long time, but I'm revisiting my trauma through some more exposure therapy. One of the things I remember about my rape is dissociating and being brought back by orgasm. In the morning, the people outside the room clearly indicated I was loudly moaning the...
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    Lost trust in boyfriend/ no means no

    Thanks for your replies. I know it may seem like a crazy reaction. My last relationship was with a guy for about two years as well, and he was kind and loving to me the whole time. Then, in the span of a few months he got a little too aggressive during sex, raged in a way that scared me, broke...
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    Lost trust in boyfriend/ no means no

    Hi. I am dating a man from beyond my dreams and have been for nearly two years now. He is kind, patient, thoughtful, dedicated, and my other half. Today when we were walking somewhere together, I was very irritable. He asked me if I wanted him to read something to me on his phone about our...
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    Need opposite-of-abusing myself help

    That's really helpful, @joeylittle. I'll give it a shot! Thanks so much!
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    Need opposite-of-abusing myself help

    Thankfully, my boyfriend is amazing and treats me wonderfully. Still, on my bad days I can be really mean to myself and hate myself. I've been with him a year, and have only just begun internalizing the messages. I think my beliefs would change much more quickly if I weren't undoing his positive...
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    Need opposite-of-abusing myself help

    I had an idea today to conquer my severe prolonged abuse and it's effects by being severely nice to myself for even longer. What can I do to be almost excessively nice to myself to reverse the messages I've received and perpetuated?
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    MVA Just got into a car accident yesterday - had ptsd before the incident

    You're really sweet, @Simply Simon . Pointing out that I just went through a really hard thing helps; I am still minimizing it at this point, so it helps me feel like less of a failure and reduce my expectations of myself. :) Thanks for the support!
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    MVA Just got into a car accident yesterday - had ptsd before the incident

    I thought the same thing. I took an Uber twice yesterday. When we went past the scene of the accident, I re-experienced some terror and physical pain, and dissociated a bit. Otherwise, I just had minor hypervigilance. Thanks for responding even though you haven't been in an accident. It helps me...
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    Freaking out and scared for therapy after opening up

    Hi, @rab91 . The first time I told my therapist, I definitely was worried about going back. I was afraid of being judged, afraid I was wrong, afraid to betray my family, and afraid I was crazy. It's perfectly normal. All I can tell you is that it gets better. The first 6 weeks or so talking...
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    MVA Just got into a car accident yesterday - had ptsd before the incident

    Hi, @Fadeaway . Thanks so much for responding! That's really good to know. I'm still really sore, so I'm taking it easy and resting, but as soon as I start feeling physically well enough (probably two-three more days), I'll pack my schedule with socialization. For today, I'll stick to video chat...
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    MVA Just got into a car accident yesterday - had ptsd before the incident

    Yesterday I was driving and had a green light. A car went when it wasn't supposed to, and I T-boned him. Physically, I'm pretty OK, but I'm worried because I already have PTSD from child abuse and two sexual assaults. I'm already experiencing difficulty sleeping, feelings of terror, a feeling it...
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    Coping with feelings of shame

    Thank you for this visualization. I'll keep it in mind, and hope it will help!
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    Sufferer Help with cptsd. 5yo daughter removed from my care, fighting to get her back.

    I'm so very happy to hear that!!! I know what you mean about the disconnect between your rational thoughts and your deep-rooted emotional beliefs. I still haven't internalized feelings of being deserving. It will take a long time, but it's possible. At least at present I'm able to give myself...
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    Sufferer Help with cptsd. 5yo daughter removed from my care, fighting to get her back.

    Hi, again, Lilly! I'm so glad that what I posted is useful to you in this tough time. It wasn't your fault your daughter witnessed your severe abuse. How were you supposed to move her to a safe location where she wouldn't witness it WHILE you were being strong-armed into the water or burned by...
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    Sufferer Help with cptsd. 5yo daughter removed from my care, fighting to get her back.

    Hi, Lilly. Your story is heartbreaking. I can understand why your circumstances have been triggering suicidal thoughts for you. It sounds like you have two main problems: ongoing abuse from your husband combined with distrust from the system, and the absence of your daughter along with a lack...
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    Sufferer So That's Why I'm Different...

    Hi, @UnkleKrappy. I feel hesitant to even call you by your chosen username; you seem very down on yourself when I'm sure you have tons of wonderful qualities! Based on your post, I would highly recommend you check out The Feeling Good Handbook; it has some great information on how to find...
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    Back From Hospital And Still Afraid

    Your welcome! I have a billion appointments myself, so I can definitely understand that. I hope some time frees up for you soon or that you find an intensive outpatient program where you can continue to see your kids! Your emotional health is so important. Best of luck with your therapy...
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    Chronic Suicidal Ideation-from Parts

    I can truly imagine how frightening, confusing, and saddening this must be for you, as well as how isolated and despairing you must feel. I have coped with long-term suicidal ideation as have recently started to see the good in the world and am enthusiastic about the possibilities of treatment...
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    Back From Hospital And Still Afraid

    I am so so happy you hospitalized yourself. I would highly recommend creating a safety plan so you can act before things get so bad. My therapist gave me a Safety Plan worksheet. Here's the layout: Safety Plan (Worksheet) | Therapist Aid I filled out the sheet and keep it with me everywhere I...
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    Avoiding my life - need alternative choices

    Thanks, @ladee , I appreciate that. I did end up just checking out with a TV show and that calmed me down enough to be able to have a tough conversation with my boyfriend.
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    Avoiding my life - need alternative choices

    I'm doing all I can to avoid my life right now. My boyfriend is lying on the ground of our room because he's tired. I hope he stays there forever. I don't want to interact with anyone. I just want to go to sleep. In my DBT skills class, we're learning acceptance. Acceptance of how things are. I...
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    Not Good Enough. Not Bad Enough. Just Never... Enough.

    @ladee is right. You may also have forgotten what happened. Inability to recall aspects of the trauma is a big factor in PTSD. I had plenty of "real" traumas that I remembered for years, but only recently started experiencing body sensations and images of things I cannot say for sure happened...
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    Suicide

    Please do not kill yourself. I'm not asking that for me, I'm asking that for you, as someone who has fervently wanted to kill herself in the past. Your mind is telling you lies right now. There's probably nothing I can say now about you getting better, there being more opportunities, and future...
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