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  1. L

    I feel gone, but I’m trying my best

    Hello! Haven't been back here in a while- I wish I could help others more- but I need to help myself. Holidays are hard. Holidays can be lonely. I don't like it. I want to be a part of a normal family. With parents that love you and hold you. With laughter, joy, I'm grieving. They never loved...
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    I feel gone, but I’m trying my best

    Recently life has gotten so much softer and more peaceful, I know this is by my own design. And I love it, I want more and more softness and peace, more stability, less fear, no abuse. I have been struggling still with the way people see me. In my past life (before I left) this world was...
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    Difficulty integrating into society

    I so relate to the reptilian comment- I often describe myself as an alien and feel like I'm in a video game- things feel so unreal and I feel so weird and wrong. Thank you for your words- I suppose that patience may really be the answer.
  4. L

    Difficulty integrating into society

    It sometimes feels like my anxiety spins me round in circles till I just feel confused and far away from everything and everyone
  5. L

    Difficulty integrating into society

    Not sure if this is a question or just needing to discuss my difficulties- (also not sure I'm in the right thread- apologies if not!) I have found that even though I have fully exited abuse, I'm no longer being trafficked or neglected or being in danger on a daily basis. I've been so for over a...
  6. L

    A long standing habit I can't seem to shake - Cannot sleep before 3am-5am

    I have this issue, before 3-5 am I cannot sleep, and it changes, some days not sleeping at all. I've been this way since before I can remember. I know why, I think it's because of what would happen at night. But this habit has gotten in the way of me living a normal life for just as long.. I'm...
  7. L

    Confusion, fear that I am a bad person

    Thank you for this- I think I do often jump to really bad self hatred when I think about the bad things I did in the past- I am so perfectionist with my personality I often don’t speak to people or get close to anyone out of fear I may do something wrong.. and have bad social anxiety- so having...
  8. L

    Confusion, fear that I am a bad person

    Hello!! I haven’t been on here in a while- but felt I had nowhere else to talk about this so I decided to talk about it here. I reread messages from me and my ex and I can’t help but feel like I am terrible and awful. That I was just as bad as my ex and that I should never speak to anyone...
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    Question about interviewing a new therapist

    I know I’m supposed to be interviewing a new therapist but I’m not sure what to ask at our first session. What questions do you ask a new therapist to see if they’re a good fit for you? I apologize if this has been discussed before! I could not see anything
  10. L

    I feel gone, but I’m trying my best

    I think for a very very long time I have treated life like this video game. Like- it’s not actually real. And I think it makes sense I would derealize from life that much with everything I went to. But recently I’ve been having these exciting dreams with running away and scary people and I’ve...
  11. L

    I feel gone, but I’m trying my best

    I think- that very very young- I had to make very difficult decisions in order to survive. And I think the fact I was put in that position has seriously affected me I feel so bad about every decision I’ve had to make They all feel completely my fault, even though I understand I was a child put...
  12. L

    I feel gone, but I’m trying my best

    I’m gonna keep trying work through this pain and confusion and process it in creative healthy ways
  13. L

    The ptsd cup explanation

    I have often described my experience with PTSD as being in a cup, and that the cup is bubbled at the top. And I’m sitting in a little boat trying to keep the water out with a little bucket and it just barely works. But that any amount of additional stress causes the bubble to pop and spill over...
  14. L

    I feel gone, but I’m trying my best

    Thank you so much- this response is so incredibly reassuring-
  15. L

    I feel gone, but I’m trying my best

    This also brings up thoughts for me about my childhood, where I didn’t really have non sxual association with closeness. I didn’t really learn how to make friends or seek out that kind of touch support. I didn’t really learn anything, I’ve been realizing a lot how after my trfcing ended I relied...
  16. L

    I feel gone, but I’m trying my best

    Yes very much so- I wish she hadn’t asked me that question, and even when she did I only said I support her. Idk it’s just so hard to get a response like how she did and then not hear back. I am both touch repulsed and touch starved, it takes such a huge amount of trust for me to actually feel...
  17. L

    I feel gone, but I’m trying my best

    I also think- that I want to prove to myself that I can stay friends with someone even through an argument and nothing bad will happen to me.
  18. L

    I feel gone, but I’m trying my best

    A friend of mine came to me about her recent breakup- and- she says she believes that he will come back. She asked me if I believe it too, he has a habit of leaving her with no explanation or knowledge of when he’ll come back, and repeatedly stated he needed to leave at some point (and this time...
  19. L

    I feel gone, but I’m trying my best

    Thank you for this
  20. L

    I feel gone, but I’m trying my best

    I left my absv ex half a year ago, i have this hyperfixation on dating and relationships and i think it’s associated to my inappropriate relationships with others as a child. I didn’t learn much other than how to please an adult seeking that kind of relatiosnhip from a child. I just- I slap...
  21. L

    Sufferer Hello! CPTSD and DID

    Hello! I’m new here and new to seeking this kind of support, I have CPTSD and DID which developed as a chldhd trffcking victim (sorry I can’t spell it out without panicking). I have serially entered bad spaces with bad people since my tfcing ended at age 9ish- I’m 20 almost 21- i left my last...
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