Search results

  1. S

    Was this pelvic exam inappropriate?

    In addition to what others have said. KNOW this. Deep in your bones, know it. You ALWAYS have a right to ask for an assistant to be in the room. You ALWAYS have the right to ask for someone else. You can explain you have PTSD if you want, but it's not necessary. And you ALWAYS have the right to...
  2. S

    Childhood Is this CoCSA? Conflicting info online

    I suspect the reason you're searching for a potential COCSA label is the same reason I went searching when I got stealthed, which before that experience I didn't even know was a thing. And here in the US, stealthing is considered to be "rape adjacent" in many states, but not yet illegal. So it...
  3. S

    I think my friend sexually assaulted me, but I still want to be their friend. Am I being naïve?

    Boundary busting, gaslighting. Not a safe person! Alcohol reduces inhibitions. It doesn't create. Meaning the desire to touch your breasts and vagina were already in his brain; he just hadn't acted on it. Alcohol simply removed whatever was stopping him from acting on those desires. Or he used...
  4. S

    I think my friend sexually assaulted me, but I still want to be their friend. Am I being naïve?

    It is VERY common for people who've experienced SA to minimize their SA experiences. "It's not as bad as what others have," "second offense wasn't meant to be sexual," etc. I did it for years. It took me about 40yrs to see that the 2nd offense absolutely WAS sexual- he was testing the waters...
  5. S

    Relationship My partner has been isolating himself - what is the best way to ask about it?

    I'm 4yrs+ no contact now and occasionally it will pop into my head that I "owe my narc parent" an explanation. No I f*cking don't!! He was never a "dad" to me. He was an abuser and the ONLY reason I've even considered it was because of the role of "dutiful daughter." There's no such thing when...
  6. S

    Relationship My partner has been isolating himself - what is the best way to ask about it?

    I second and third this lol. A thousand times. We can only work on/change US. We can't do the work for or change others. If they're not willing to do their work, then they don't deserve to be part of our lives. Or in our thoughts. (They're not paying rent for the space in our heads lol.)...
  7. S

    General EMDR and lurking darkness

    I've tried several different "coping strategies" over the years, and the one that has worked always, and with the least amount of effort, is repeating this affirmation. I still have it set as a daily calendar event with reminder so I'll see it, even though it's now memorized lol 🤭 (I didn't...
  8. S

    General EMDR and lurking darkness

    Understood. You're not alone. 45yrs for me too. Cptsd too. Good for you to say "not...as yet." 😁 👍 💪 Reflects your understanding that it DOES get better. Because it absolutely does if we show up and do the work. Promise. 😊💕
  9. S

    General EMDR and lurking darkness

    Did EMDR not help you with the ptsd symptoms (primarily tricksy, fearful thoughts) you mentioned? There were a couple of times for me where my T said that because I was down to a 2, we were done with that memory and basically that was the best I was gonna get. However lol...we tackled other...
  10. S

    General EMDR and lurking darkness

    I suspect it's because you processed *intellectually* during CBT rather than *emotionally.* And/or you've only addressed the tip of the iceberg. I too, thought I was "over it" re my childhood but it's because 1. I did it on my own, 2. I repressed my feelings vs actually feeling them, and 3. I...
  11. S

    General EMDR and lurking darkness

    Omg, I LOVE this perspective! Thanks! 😊💕 Yeah, I'm in year 5 too. Because of many traumas, and new traumas created because of the cptsd Lol, and because we've discovered that ALL of my repressed feelings are attached to a big trauma. So we keep chipping away at it like an iceberg. And I too...
  12. S

    General EMDR and lurking darkness

    Good for you for getting your own therapist! Proud of you! Sooo many people think that going to a therapist is weakness, when it's actually strength. Keep on keeping on. 👍💕
  13. S

    General EMDR and lurking darkness

    I didn't go through that because my T ALWAYS makes sure we end on a good note. And if it were a rough one, we'd go over session a few minutes until I got to a good place. If I were in your situation, I'd talk to my T and explain what happened, the undesirable consequences, and ask how you can...
  14. S

    Wellness and Recovery Options - Post Your Peer Support Training Links/Resources Here

    Here's the link to Copeland Center's WRAP program. copelandcenter.com/wellness-recovery-action-plan-wrap There's also a 4-wk seminar starting Dec 1 to make your own WRAP (and is required if you eventually want to become a peer support counselor). Cost $399. Scholarships offered via application.
  15. S

    General EMDR and lurking darkness

    My experience with EMDR is that I absolutely KNOW there is something more, if for no other reason than I know the memories we haven't yet worked on. Defining something as "seismic" is completely subjective, and will largely depend on the fear IN THAT MOMENT due to the c/ptsd. In a different...
  16. S

    You Know You Have PTSD When...

    You know you have PTSD when... Your therapist, GP and psychiatrist know you better than anyone else in your life 🤣 When those same people know you better than their other patients LOL 🤣🤣
  17. S

    Relationship My partner has been isolating himself - what is the best way to ask about it?

    This is a fantastic thread! Thank you everyone for your authentic engagement with each other. I am honored that you trusted us with your Truths. 😊💕💪
  18. S

    Sufferer 41 years ago and I'm still traumatized

    Yes, ALL of this- ESPECIALLY those in religious and/or "positive only" "personal growth" communities. Agree with Dharmagirl that it's not in the past for those of us who have PTSD. But it's not just "PTSD brain" imo. It's the whole nervous system. For me, my body (specifically my anxiety is a...
  19. S

    Sufferer New and need help. How can I make these flashbacks and nightmares go away? Will I ever regain function in my fingers? Will the scar tissue go away?

    Find a new therapist. Not all therapists are a good fit for all patients, and vice versa. I also highly recommend EMDR. Ongoing talk therapy is likely to help you as well, because "disgusting" goes deeper than skin deep, same as beauty 😊 Get a 2nd opinion about PT or, if you have a good...
  20. S

    EMDR vs. Rescripting - personal experiences with doing both?

    EMDR worked very well for me because: 1. I was a super compartmentalized person, where I put all of my painful memories in boxes, which turned out to be in a larger box of one particularly impactful abusive memory. 2. It allowed me to feel those painful feelings in a safe space. 3. I could...
  21. S

    The End Game

    Oh. Didn't realize the deal was already done. Sorry. Our peace of mind can sometimes be measured in dollars and sometimes it can't. Seems like this time yours could lol 😏🤭 I'm happy you're happy and l love the feeling of a yoke coming off my neck! 😊😊💕 Congrats on making a decision and...
  22. S

    How to choose a therapist - EMDR & very effective body based therapies -or- EMDR & integrative / relational counseling

    Hi Starlight! I've been meaning to respond for forever, but have been super busy getting ready for a move. If your T1 offers both types of therapies, it means you don't have to choose between them! 😊 My T offers EMDR, CBT + his own intuitive style that just works great for me! Also, if you...
  23. S

    The End Game

    Hi Enough. I recently got this article on AARP in my inbox, and you came to mind. 😊 I thought you might find helpful as it discusses what to do in this bear market. Not trying to convince you or change your mind. Only giving you info because we don't know what we don't know. And...I found it...
  24. S

    The re-experience of trauma and its endlessness

    I ran out of edit time (TBI- Uggh). And I couldn't delete either?? Anyway, I wanted to add this: It also takes practice. Some days more than others lol 🤭 (I think of recovery as a dance, so I don't get so hard on myself when I don't get my desired result/response when I want it).
  25. S

    The re-experience of trauma and its endlessness

    Yes, exactly. I find it especially valuable in moments of conflict. I also might say "I need time to process this. Let's discuss later?" And again, reasonable people get it. "Know thyself" is still the first rule. Do what works for you. I think the "let's discuss later?" part might be...
Back
Top