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  1. maddiebtw

    Weirdly Wholesome Experience?

    So my wife and I just had a male friend of hers staying over with us for a week, and I spent the entire week being super f*cking anxious. Like, I know him, I like him, he's stayed with us before, but I'm scared of men. Now, my wife and I are ethically non-monogomous, and I know that she likes...
  2. maddiebtw

    Do you view your abuser(s) as evil or sick?

    Well I don't necessarily see evil and mental illness as mutually exclusive? Generally speaking, mental illness is grounded in nature--naturalistic understandings of the brain as an organ of thought that is capable of malfunction and infirmity--whereas evil seems to be grounded in more subjective...
  3. maddiebtw

    Getting stuck in sexual routines because that's the only safe thing to do

    It sounds like you have a pretty healthy relationship and an understanding partner. Congrats! I don't want to make specific prescriptions because I don't really know your situation and it's not really my place anyway. One general piece of advice that I've found helpful is that, we don't often...
  4. maddiebtw

    Getting stuck in sexual routines because that's the only safe thing to do

    I relate to this a lot. I used to dissociate a lot during sex and it took me a while to even just be present in the moment. A big help in this process for me was having a partner who is patient and understanding, even when I can't explain why I'm having problems, but I still feel guilty whenever...
  5. maddiebtw

    Sufferer Hi, I'm Maddie - 24, married, a mother of 2, and trans. Recently diagnosed with cPTSD

    Hi, I'm Maddie (she/her). I'm 24, married, a mother of 2, and trans. I was recently diagnosed with cPTSD after years of trying to keep my trauma to myself and just manage. I realize now that that was a mistake, not that there's anything that I can do about it now except be grateful that I'm...
  6. maddiebtw

    What made you question just how normal your childhood was?

    When I was 15 or so I committed a small misdemeanor to keep from getting in trouble with my dad, but my adult brother reacted pretty strongly when he found out. It confused me because nobody had ever really taught me that the law was something that should generally be followed, even when the...