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  1. 1

    Relationship Partner of 8 years suddenly "needs space" and accusing me of things.

    Thank you. What you said makes a lot of sense to me and I could see some of that in her. I just wish she was able to articulate the feelings as well as you are because that would make things so much easier. I'm glad you are still getting communication from him, but I can see how that can also...
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    Relationship Partner of 8 years suddenly "needs space" and accusing me of things.

    I don't know if this helps at all, but you know my situation a bit as well and with her and the way she's acting I have a lot of the same feelings of a betrayal of trust. I try to tell myself that this "person" isn't the same one that I loved and poured my heart and soul into and that she is...
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    Relationship I don't want to but I feel like I have to make the hardest decision of my life

    I agree the crying does help with the pain, what it doesn't help with is the confusion. I just wish she would communicte even just a little bit. I've told her if this is what you truly want then I understand but I'm also afraid that she is doing it for other reasons. In the past she has said I...
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    Relationship I don't want to but I feel like I have to make the hardest decision of my life

    There has definitely been a lot of tears shed these past few days, Unfortunately it doesn't seem to be helping. When you mention the person you loved and your best friend feels like they died, that is exactly how I feel. Its a grief that I'd imagine feels much like that of widower. I was just...
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    Relationship I don't want to but I feel like I have to make the hardest decision of my life

    We did, and I accept a lot of the responsibility for her feeling unheard and unloved. She was misdiagnosed with BPD many years ago and I tried researching that and to understand what I could but while some of it seemed spot on other bits of it didn't seem to relate at all which left me more...
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    Relationship I don't want to but I feel like I have to make the hardest decision of my life

    Thank you. I'll write more later. It's just too hard right now.
  7. 1

    Relationship I don't want to but I feel like I have to make the hardest decision of my life

    Logically that makes sense but it doesn't make it any easier unfortunately. I try to think logically about it all, but I just can't stop thinking about the last 11 years and how all of that is just gone. All I can seem to do is just sit here between bouts of shock that it's actually ending and...
  8. 1

    Relationship I don't want to but I feel like I have to make the hardest decision of my life

    So I just decided to check randomly the country records office and saw where apparently she filed for divorce on the 17th of this month, still havent received any paperwork or anything on my end. I guess that is the end of it then. I can't believe I'm at this point with the woman I love so...
  9. 1

    Relationship Partner of 8 years suddenly "needs space" and accusing me of things.

    TikTok has done more harm than good to the entire world in general IMO. I had researched a lot on the Narcistic traits with CPTSD because of being married to an NPD in the past and I was seeing a lot of the same issues come up with the recent setbacks and called her a narcissist out of anger and...
  10. 1

    Relationship Partner of 8 years suddenly "needs space" and accusing me of things.

    Its crazy how similar all of the supporter situations are! Have you seen this video by chance?
  11. 1

    Relationship Partner of 8 years suddenly "needs space" and accusing me of things.

    The narccistic traits really intrigue me. My wife has a narcissttic father and 2 very narcisstics brothers and a sister and hates it. She has worried her whole life that she is like them but she isnt even close. I myself was in a relationship with a a woman with a sever case of NPD who seemed to...
  12. 1

    General Advice and observations to any supporters who need a bit of a hug

    I need to save this and read it every day. Thank You
  13. 1

    Relationship Partner of 8 years suddenly "needs space" and accusing me of things.

    That's a rough situation. It does seem that the suffer that is in a bad place in the relationship tends to lash out to the one that is closest to them and hurt them while trating everybody else fairly decently. I'd like to think that this happens because deep down they know that person is "safe"...
  14. 1

    Relationship Marriage with CPTSD/BPD

    IME I have seen this first hand(the Emotional side) in a way that served as a distraction for my spouse and as a way to try focus on "help" the other person becasue they were in a bad place. Once I brought it to her and showed her she realized what she was doing, however this was when she was in...
  15. 1

    General Rant and complain thread open to all supporters

    I f*&$%^#g HATE this! That is all. That's the post
  16. 1

    Relationship Partner of 8 years suddenly "needs space" and accusing me of things.

    Do you think it was possible that yall wre both utilizing each other as a distraction from your own personal issues?
  17. 1

    Relationship I don't want to but I feel like I have to make the hardest decision of my life

    Thanks to the advice I received here and Reddit, I've just decided to basically go on about my life as best I can for my sake and the sake of the fur babies. I just told myself that she is already gone and I am trying to recover myself from this deep pit. I am not at the point yet where I am...
  18. 1

    Relationship I don't want to but I feel like I have to make the hardest decision of my life

    What are some things you utilize to maintain your sanity if you dont mind me asking?
  19. 1

    Relationship I don't want to but I feel like I have to make the hardest decision of my life

    That first paragraph you wrote is absolute truth. I would give anything to even have angry texts or rage calls at this point in time. Her leaving the animals is one of the most confusing things to me. We have 2 ferrets left after our older ones died a year or so back, a cat, a rescue rabbit, 4...
  20. 1

    Relationship I don't want to but I feel like I have to make the hardest decision of my life

    I asked her. Well as much as I could anyway. I sent her a text earlier because that's the only communication channel I have open and even then I'm pretty sure she just ignores me or has me blocked. I have recognized dissociative signs in her action lately and I feel that is part of the reason...
  21. 1

    Relationship I don't want to but I feel like I have to make the hardest decision of my life

    I know you're not being mean, it helps to hear real talk as opposed to what's in my head and my heart. I will say though that I take full responsibility for the issues with no sex and the lack of connection and support up until January. My personal issues create real difficulties in picking up...
  22. 1

    Relationship I don't want to but I feel like I have to make the hardest decision of my life

    What you say makes perfect sense to the logical side of me. Its just really hard to believe that this new her is the real her but you make a really good point that it very well could be. I know the bike helps her as I used to ride myself and it is very therapeutic and we had talked for years...
  23. 1

    Relationship I don't want to but I feel like I have to make the hardest decision of my life

    I've been a lurker here for quite a while, but I am at a point now where I need as much input as I can get from as many who have BTDT as I can get because I am completely lost-- I think I might be ready to make the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life and that is to divorce the...
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