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    My first-authored (and first ever) scientific paper has just been accepted!

    This is sooo exciting!!! Congratulations!!!!!
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    Childhood Trauma timeline

    Thank you everyone for your replies! I haven’t been on cause my daughter has been very sick. First she was not eating and now we think she has an obstruction so we are on our last hope of a super strong laxative tonight before she has to be hospitalized. It’s been stressful and it scares my...
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    Childhood Trauma timeline

    We are supposed to do a trauma timeline in therapy tomorrow to give the parts a chance to tell their story and help them see that we no longer have to live in trauma time. I am really nervous because I take Naltrexone which keeps me from dissociating so I will have to do all the talking for my...
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    To Tell Other Family Or Not

    I’m sorry she didn’t believe you and you didn’t get the support you deserve. I think I would have done the same thing you did. It’s very invalidating on your sister’s part to say that you shouldn’t of told her. I can’t stand it when family protects the abuser. So heartbreaking ?
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    Using a diary for EMDR therapy

    EMDR shifted today and I was kinda relieved. We started out with an image about my grandfather but by the end we were focusing on being angry at my mother for letting it all happen. I don't really ever think about the stuff she did to me. I guess it's easier to pretend it didn't happen. But...
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    Using a diary for EMDR therapy

    So...yesterday I had tears in my eyes twice. I wouldn’t say that I actually cried but I was surprised that I did have tears. It’s so strange because I know that’s the goal, yet I feel so much shame about it. I’m probably going to have to write it down to share it with my t.
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    Using a diary for EMDR therapy

    Yesterday’s session was all about emotions. Emotions and blocking them. I can tell they are so close and something in my brain is moving around for sure. But I just couldn’t get past the fear of feeling for the first time. I didn’t feel any grief or sadness but I felt a ton of fear that it...
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    Using a diary for EMDR therapy

    8-28-19 Feeling some sadness today. Not tearful but I can tell the need to cry is not buried as deep as it used to be. It’s much more right under the surface.
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    Using a diary for EMDR therapy

    8-27-19 EMDR was different today. It didn’t seem near as hard because we only focused on the new feeling of anger that was starting to surface instead of the abuse. At one point t asked what I noticed and I said “I noticed that I wanted to throw these paddles across the room!” I am not...
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    DID Communication?

    It’s a way to invite all your parts to have communication with you. My therapist used some pre-hypnosis techniques to help me be able to go there. If you google Dissociative Table Work I think there are some articles on it that can explain it better than I can. The first time we did it all I...
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    Using a diary for EMDR therapy

    8-25-19 It’s been a hard day. My daughter started middle school today in a new school district so she didn’t know anybody. She has a social anxiety disorder so it was really hard to watch her get out of the car so terrified but she handled herself well. I’ve been busy with my own classes so I...
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    DID Communication?

    My therapist helped me realize I was phobic of my parts when we started doing dissociative table work. I didn’t have good communication but it started to come over time as I started talking to them. I think I talked to them every day for a few weeks before I got a response. It helped to tell...
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    Sufferer Help - Still In Love With Abuser

    I haven’t been in your situation but I’ve had to walk away from someone I very much loved. Knowing it was for my own good gave me the strength but it didn’t make it hurt any less. I’m sorry you’re going through that. I’m glad you have found safety away from him even though it’s difficult...
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    Losing access to parts.

    About 3 years ago my therapist that my parts were super attached to decided to hire one of my abusers behind my back. We had talked about the abuse in session on Tuesday and that Friday he informed me that she hired him. I completely flipped out and ended up in the hospital. My parts went...
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    Using a diary for EMDR therapy

    . Thank you for this!! So helpful. I felt like I was going to cry for a second last night out of frustration that it feels like maybe I’m not a good candidate for EMDR but that would suck because it feels like my last real hope of healing.
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    Using a diary for EMDR therapy

    Feeling really discouraged tonight. Maybe it’s just the after effect of today’s EMDR session, but I think it’s more that I feel like EMDR is not working for me. It’s starting to feel more like exposure therapy every time we do it. I find this confusing because my therapist said exposure...
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    What is a "friend"?

    Great ideas on this thread. I have one friend and while I’m thankful for the friendship we don’t spend a lot of time together and never do anything just for fun without our kids. I’m still trying to figure out what friendship is but I wanted to bring a different perspective as something to...
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    EMDR - Am I Doing It Wrong?

    Yes! I still struggle some with feeling like I have to say the right thing but as I’ve researched EMDR I’m starting to understand that there is no wrong answer. Sometimes I say I notice that a certain thing is happening in the memory, sometimes I say I notice a sensation or a repeating phrase...
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    Using a diary for EMDR therapy

    EMDR was awful today. I’m getting to the worst part of the memory and I’m having a lot of resistance that is keeping me from connecting with the memory. I did ask at the end of my session if she thought this was working and she said yes she can see the changes in my thought process around the...
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    Using a diary for EMDR therapy

    Another night of processing through dreams and waking up a lot. I REALLY don’t like this. I’m struggling to want to go to therapy today for fear of the dreams getting worse. I think I could tolerate them better if it was me as the child in my dreams but it usually plays out through my daughter...
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    EMDR and grief question

    I’m glad to hear it’s working well for you! I have also done 4 sessions so far but I’ve not experienced much darkness yet. I’m having trouble finding my emotions. I’m still numb during the sessions, but I’m hopeful that the EMDR is going to break through that barrier soon so I can grieve it...
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    Using a diary for EMDR therapy

    Thanks!!! ?
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    Using a diary for EMDR therapy

    This is how I felt towards my daughter in the dream! Now, if I can just learn to internalize it for myself. My mind keeps replaying what I said in therapy “he hurt ME” and “nobody helped ME” but I’m still numb about it as if it was no big deal. Picking up there at my next session is slightly...
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    Using a diary for EMDR therapy

    8-19-19 Up at 4:30 am after a terrible dream. My mind is apparently still processing trauma from my session on Thursday. I dreamed that my daughter was about 6 or 7 years old and was staying with her dad in a huge building that was dirty and people rented rooms but there was no doors and...
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