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    Sometimes the amount of self care i require just drives me batty!

    I'm so glad for this thread. I call them my "me things"... the things I have to do for my world to be ordered enough for me to survive and sometimes even thrive. After many decades I have decided that I am worth having to do the "me things"'s not my fault that I require them, but I do...
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    Raising 2 kids while battling cptsd, anxiety and depression can anyone else relate?

    "Letting them know you love them, even in small ways.." I was there, dissociated so much of the time...I have many memory gaps, but I worked the hardest at 2 things: Letting them know I loved them in whatever way I was able to at the time, and working on recovery, tiny steps at a time. My 2...
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    If You Didn't Have A Chance To Build A Self Before Complex Trauma

    I have done that a few times, and gotten quite triggered when I try to sign up, then find that I have a whole blog there.....but for me it became part of getting to know the parts of myself who were present when I was not, even though I found it frightening.
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    If You Didn't Have A Chance To Build A Self Before Complex Trauma

    Wow, that is something I say all the time, "No one seems to understand what it is to be me..." I spent my whole life dissociated and confused, in a fog, never understanding the world or people. Then somehow in my late forties I managed to integrate 6 identities...but I have never been ME before...
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    Does Anyone Find It Difficult To Talk?

    "I realize I had an abusive and neglectful narcissistic mother, an enabling father, and a golden boy older brother. I am the scapegoat, the lost child"..... I grew up the same way. The lost child. It's okay. You have to find your own identity, make new and good memories, like you said, it can be...
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    Is Anyone Else Triggered By This?

    Yes. It's awful. I don't know why.
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    Eerie Confirmation

    It happens. Sometimes it is all you can do to not be dragged into the flashback. Even seeing a family photo album causes near dissociation for me.
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    Anyone Else Have Ostriches In Their Family?

    My brother and sister have both told me WE ARE THE DENIAL FAMILY. STOP MESSING WITH THE STATUS QUO. I read an excerpt from a book the other day about incest in families and the characteristics of the families (my 10-year abuser was my mother's brother): Collective denial and shared secrets...
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    A Wasted Life

    Me too-my brother is just the same. It hurts beyond belief.
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    Life Changer

    Hello, thank you for sharing your story. Some of us do understand. I was molested by my mother's brother for 10 years, from age 3 until about13, but I did not remember the trauma and in my 40s began to deal with the real facts of my life... recently I had memories return that brought me the...
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    Seargent Baker Made Me Do It.

    Thank you so much for sharing. I "lurk" more than I post....I have the same situation, and knowing I am not alone helps.
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    Starting To Date With Did (dissociative Identity Disorder)?

    I had not dated anyone that I shared my DID diagnosis with, until I met my current partner. After about 4 months, I did, because an alter was integrating and he knew I was struggling but of course assumed it was something he had done. He was unexpectedly both understanding and supportive about...
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    Struggling With My "realizations".....

    You've been seeing a T for how many years and you just learned grounding techniques for the first time from somewhere else?
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    Sexual Assault Still Unable To Open Up After Years Of Childhood Sexual Abuse

    I find that what I need to deal with next presents itself, and if I force it, it causes more trauma. Even then I don't usually need to talk about it, except in rare instances, and then it is in 3rd person, I can deal with that. I did not start dealing with my abuse, which ended when I was 13...
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    Need Help With Dissociation

    I'd never hear of the turning your head thing. Thanks for posting, going to tey it!
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    Attachment Issues

    Same here, I was just starting a relationship and he triggered me so badly I lost most of the weekend dissociating. I hate being needy, but I think for me its alot of unresolved feelings about my abuser (family member from ages 4-13). Trying to work on that, but just dealing with the flashbacks...
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    New Layers

    I have dealt with the actual trauma. I've been in a good place, mostly. But over the last few months what seems to be emerging is a need to deal with my feelings about the relationship I had with my abuser. The flashbacks I am having now are not about the actual acts, but how I felt when he made...
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    Wondering Whether To Try Zoloft (sertraline)

    I am taking Zoloft, and have found it extremely effective. I actually lost about 30 lbs when I started taking it, because it suppressed my appetite. It really helps with anxiety for me. I've been taking it for about 18 months.
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    Providence,ri Or Wherever

    Most people don't understand. It's not their fault, but it feel loonely and makes you feel like you're "different".
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    Providence,ri Or Wherever

    There are alot of us here. I am one. You are not alone.
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    Sometimes The Past Feels Good.

    I have had that happen as well; there were many holes in my childhood memories, and I had shut out the times I felt good along with the bad ones. As I progress, I get back both kinds of memories, and am learning to try to see them objectively, and enjoy and linger in the good times. Thank you...
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    Not Triggered...

    What a fantastic acheivement!!!
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    How 'coherent' Are Your Flashbacks?

    I have also have the "frozen" episodes spoken of. Until about 4 years ago I had an alter, but with much therapy and work, she and I fused. I did not have dissociative episodes from then until yesterday. Lately I have been under a trmendous amount of stress, my husband is in poor health, had a...
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    How 'coherent' Are Your Flashbacks?

    Mine are not coherent, either, just flashes, smells, other sensory stuff. I have very few clear memories, but enough to get the gist of what happened. As I move forward I remember some things more clearly, but I do not wish for it, as it is traumatic. My therapist says it happens as my brain...
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    Severe Adrenaline Or Cortisol Rush?

    I am so glad to hear that there is help for the physical adrenaline rush phenomenon. It does seem to be an extreme startle response, and is painful and frightening. I too feel it rushing through my veins. It can days anywhere from hours to days for my body to calm. Thank you all for your...