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  1. O

    You Know You Have PTSD When...

    You watch carefully how your dogs react to thunderstorms and fireworks and try to learn processing fear through them. What am I naturally doing to help them feel safe that I can't quite do for myself?
  2. O

    Randon stories

    Just random stories because I have no questions. I may be looking for some validation but I know what I know. Consciously these stories need no validation. Story one. Maybe 6 months ago. I will call this the external motivated one. I found myself very mad at me. I went to punch a wall...
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    Just Joking

    I conducted an experiment to see if my dogs prefer creamy peanut butter or chunky. They went for the nuts evertime.
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    Harm Reduction and Resilience Come in Many Colors

    I almost wanted to argue this. Not because I disagree but because I have seen it said so few times. I have many close companionships, family, friends etc. I have found that they place a ton of value on my input. Way more value than I give myself for giving. We may not always be...
  5. O

    You Know You Have PTSD When...

    I think we play that game also. I think we may even be better at guessing. The advantage of being 99% vs 95% correct isn't as impressive when that 1% f*cks up your everyday life.
  6. O

    You Know You Have PTSD When...

    You keep checking this thread to see if something clicks
  7. O

    Just Joking

    Generally speaking, what do you get when you give the car from Dukes of Hazzard the attributes of the car from Knight Rider? Just generally speaking.
  8. O

    Did I do something wrong? Am I crazy?

    Don't remember how breaking the glass made you feel in a moment. Remember how it felt afterwards and having to ask others for validation. Grasp that and other similar behaviors and you can start to control your reactions. Validation is from yourself and not your mother. If I knew how to...
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    1 in ten - Adjusting my communication style is risking old friendships

    I don't know how to title this! About 20 years ago I was sitting at a card table. Mostly good friends and one acquaintance I had known for about a year. I made a "bad" joke noone understood. To defend myself I said "A good joke will get everyone to laugh. A bad joke will make me seem dumb...
  10. O

    Seeking/Begging For Validation Beyond What One Expect

    My actions last fall are paying off now. I won that damn fight! I went silent for a long time. My questions to neighbors were so damn uncomfortable. However about 6 months later they are coming to me. How did you get this asshole off your case? My path was so damaging to myself yet has...
  11. O

    Sufferer Intro from hell

    Breathe. No need to share before you are ready. Just breathe. Each breath is success.
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    Ideas for ways to work on this? Changing Patterns.

    I think "this" is how the awareness is supposed to slowly change things. Pattern trapped/unheard/shame. For a bit the course will run through. The shame will ring a bell. Backtrack and realize it's done happened again. Hopefully not the big stuff just day to day stuff. With catching on at...
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    Relationship Help! CPTSD/BPD separation crisis (my first post)

    It took a mother with my amateur diagnosis of BPD and a wife with the same thing. CPTSD became a "thing" for me damn quick. You are posting as a person in a relationship with someone with symptoms of CPTSD. Don't become a member here. Find support but don't be one of us. Exposure to what...
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    Relationship Help! CPTSD/BPD separation crisis (my first post)

    I have been in a similar position. Married a few years to a woman with BPD. Early 30's and she had kids. She took it all from me emotionally. Sometimes I felt like I was just making up how much it hurt. She ended up cheating on me. I guess that was the one thing I couldn't make up. No...
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    What's at the core of/ what's the motor driving my depression

    I also had childhood trauma. Depression was always sitting on my shoulder waiting but I was able to keep it at bay till my late 30's. Then 2nd set of traumas and BAM. When I was young I used to get a little jealous of the attention paid to other kids with tough life's. I am now seeing the...
  16. O

    Other Autist

    Push not pull. Everything about this rings to "me" push away and not pull in.
  17. O

    Other Autist

    This seems like you are celebrating you being right and everyoneelse wrong. We have all achieved this. It feels tremendous. Sometimes we seek this feeling again. Sometimes we try hard. Sometimes we think we have done it all on our own and it leads to way worse feelings of failure. I am by...
  18. O

    Sufferer I’m scared

    Guilt is a tremendous motivator for me also. Not that this is something to brag about just sometimes good to not feel @All alone .
  19. O

    You Know You Have PTSD When...

    I could spring clean the yard today in 30 min. I could have spent 5 minutes a week over winter keeping yard clean. 20 weeks x5 minutes 100 min. Total Win. I will have a feeling of accomplishment. I could have had that feeling 19 more times with 1/6 of the effort as this one. My one Win is...
  20. O

    What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

    I want to laugh. I want to smile. Be nice to make others smile. I feel that's not what I need. Enough smiles and laughter. I don't know what I need but I know it's not what I want. Not now.
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    Insert Swearish Rant Here

    I found a Winger cd in a can while collecting garbage. Whoever said "Good stuff doesn't happen to bad people." Can go to hell.
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    People giving me a blank state when I tell them I have nightmares

    From my experience I have struggled with these faces regarding PTSD symptoms. There probably is a lack of understanding with most people. Yet most people do care. Watching the wheels turn as they try to meanwhile appear empathetic is tough for me to watch. Something seems ungenuine. I am...
  23. O

    Am i ok to be here.

    Nothing. That's why i ask.
  24. O

    Am i ok to be here.

    In talks of PTSD results I can fit in. I was very severely emotionaly abused. No bruises. No penetration. I am only her because of the way I perceived a world and how it doesn't fit the script of the way others perceive it. I can't show my scars. Is that offensive to those that can? If...