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    Just found out my husband committed financial infidelity

    Sorry for your situation. Finances bring up lots of baggage- not trying to make excuses but I struggle on the other side of this- hard to admit that we make less money- not wanting to disappoint- many men believe that they should be the provider so it can be a double whammy. Not saying this was...
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    Wellness vs therapy

    Choice -therapy is a choice in my opinion. Just like we can choose to eat ice cream 24/7 and feel lousy, we can choose to make smarter choices and feel better. If we break an arm hopefully we are gentle and kind to ourselves and allow ourselves to heal. When our brains are hurt we need to be...
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    Sexual Assault Girl sexually assaulted by girl

    So sorry to hear. You are not alone. I am sure there are others who have experienced same sex trauma in childhood. My experience was layered upon a childhood of csa - when I was in college I was manipulated and blackmailed by a woman. I got really drunk and she did all sorts of sexual things- i...
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    Sexual Assault Struggling with reference to rape

    Not trying to whine but therapy has been really tough - I want to move on and I can’t seem to figure out how to just leave well enough alone. My adoptive father was really inappropriate (he taught me how to masterbate and did other stuff) - I didn’t stop him or think it was wrong- then I had...
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    Give him a chance?

    @leehalf @A concerned spouse @scout86 Thank you all! Thanks for support and encouragement. I think I have a new husband! It is shocking And amazing how my mood has shifted as a result. He has been helping with dishes- making dinners some night (yes plural). I said to him that I really liked...
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    Dissasociate from therapist saying something positive

    I am not sure what I do but it is not positive. I have asked my therapist why she is kind and nice. I acuused her of doing that because it is her job. I have challenged her and said she doesn’t mean to say “xyz and she is trying to trick me. I have asked her to be angry with me and that I am...
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    Can't handle clutter

    Hi - clutter is so sofocating. It is a huge burden and feels like it will take an eternity but I guess it would be a goal and one to keep me present just seems to bring up so much anxiety. Don’t want to make excuses and maybe I should make myself make a 15 minute effort at cleaning out something...
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    Can't handle clutter

    Glad to hear of your success. Not preachy at all... I am not quite sure what my issue is but my upset doesn’t come from sentimental items but rather a verbal disgust that I have accumulated so much which leads to not a good space.
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    Can't handle clutter

    I so like her books and the method. Unfortunately, I seem to have no follow through and get so incredibly negative when going through stuff. Trying to put in all into perspective.
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    Give him a chance?

    It has always amazed me that if you are Charting a course and adjust the measurements by a small amount the destination is completely different. Life is kinda like that - going in one direction and then something small happens (or something huge happens) and we keep going but the path is so very...
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    Give him a chance?

    A few days ago an opportunity presented. Sometimes in T , I will tell my t that i can’t do something or after the fact let her know that I chickened out. And my t is so nice to point out that these times are just missed opportunities. Anyway - a few nights ago it must have taken me a good half...
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    How Did You Sleep Last Night?

    Not well.i was so unsettled and dreaming or nightmaring all night. Waking up exhausted. I had been doing better because dream or nightmare would be isolated in the night and then I would eventually sleep some - last night I kept believing it was real. Gonna be a tough week - working-preparing...
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    Were most if us seriously abused as kids,?

    Welcome- This site has been a huge shock for me in a good way. For so long I lived with the secrets and the shame of my past. I was terrified to ever let people meet “me” and in reality my early trauma became what I expected I deserved- I had no idea that anything would be considered trauma . I...
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    Give him a chance?

    Well he actually used to be a private cook and travel quite a bit cooking for families- so he has the skill but Doesn’t see it as his place. (My word not his). Upon reflection and reading all this I think I need to stop asking and let him know what I need - this will take some time as this seems...
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    Give him a chance?

    Thank you for your replies - he does cool and quite well but just not for me or the family. He will cook something for himself late at night if he is feeling hungry- or he will make himself food for him to take for lunch sometimes (this is a huge change because I used to make him breakfast and...
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    Give him a chance?

    I think I need to print out your response and reminding myself it is possible to state what my needs are- in some ways this is so simple and yet also seems incredibly agonizing to follow through with - ahha moment ... this is such a bigger issue for me than i ever considered.
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    Give him a chance?

    Oh - so true - I am very aware that I have allowed and enabled this patterned. I have recreated my past experiences and I become so fearful to express my opinion let alone advocate for my needs. It is a process that i am struggling with. Encouraging to hear your success. Thank you Correction...
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    Give him a chance?

    I am really surprised by so many replies. I thought my T suggestions to me and observations were way off but thought it was worth a shot and then I realized how disappointed I was at the outcome. We are partners and I guess i have not understood what that meant. I believe(d) that I needed to...
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    Do therapist intentionally trigger us?

    It has seems like this could be so I asked her And was surprised that she quickly said no and was almost surprised that I thought she was trying to trigger me. But then I started to question if she was being up front with me or not. I have no reason to think she would be misleading me but i...
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    Give him a chance?

    A common thread during therapy sessions is ongoing stressful situations and how I manage. I tend to do a lot around my house and with our family upkeep. My therapist keeps referring to my doing everything which I challenge. Anyway also work full time. My T references that “we” are not living in...
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    Do therapist intentionally trigger us?

    I asked my T if she purposely triggered me during our sessions or if in our talking that we touched upon something and then I would be triggered. I was frustrated because the week prior I left my appt. in a rough place. I had felt triggered and wasn’t very grounded as I left. She was SO quick to...
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    Bad dream - suicide

    Thank you @Muttly - I have had a hard week feeling too needy and just hoping that my insecurities and upsetting thoughts will pass- reminding myself that once I hit a rough patch that my self care takes a nose dive and then everything snowballs quickly. In someways I am disbelief that life is...
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    Wellbutrin xl

    I started with 75 mg SR and had a side affect of hitting a wall in the mid afternoon and nothing helped then I was put on 150 xl and it was a huge improvement and I felt so much better all around after a week. Still experience ups and downs but see it is me and not med. @joeylittle seems to know...
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    Bad dream - suicide

    Hard night after last therapy session -didn’t sleep well and had dreams of repeated suicide attempts and getting away with it. It was so detailed and clear. My SI hasn’t been strong in some time but in my dream it was so real. I have flashbacks at night and this wasn’t that although I did wake...
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    Shall i say this?

    The challenge here is that the energy is being focused on “who is right” or “what the real truth is”. I think it doesn’t really matter who is right - it is the processing that is important and for your t to help guide and allow you to explore your perspective and feelings around it. I agree with...
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