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    I Wrote My Goodbye Letter To My Late Wife - I Didn't Lose My Mind

    Way to go Josh! You have now stepped into a new realm. When you added that little piece at the end of your post about more details of your wifes' death THAT is where the power and the emotions lie!! You will write many letters to her. Letters of lonliness during a particular time of year...
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    Sufferer Former Law Enforcement Officer Shot

    I'm sooo there with you on the whole topic of "re-traumitization" - it really hits hard. I'm glad you are here, hopefully you will find comfort and comraderie as we move through this life. ~Boo
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    Nightmares, Nightmares, and More Nightmares

    Hi Josh, sorry to hear that your nightmares are bothering you. Unfortunately with PTSD they are almost always present in one form or another. I know you've been toying with the idea of writing your beloved Wife the letter. Perhaps in your subconscience, this conflict carries over into your...
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    The Eyes Have It - Looking People in The Eyes

    Eye contact is also culterally dictated. Some think that making eye contact is a sign of challenge or disrespect. To me it's a very intimate thing to do which makes me uncomfortable. However, if I'm wearing sunglasses, I will stare a hole into your eyes :dont-know
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    Grandpa And Me

    It sounds like you may have had a wakeful / lucid dream (similar to what takes place under hypnosis.) Dealing with the death of your mare and your Grandfather sounds very normal. Both represented warmth, love, and safety for you. It's natural to put them together- neither one is here to offer...
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    The Eyes Have It - Looking People in The Eyes

    I too avoid eye contact with others when I'm out in public. Although I don't have the same association with eyes as you do, I do it to keep others from engaging in a conversation with me. "The Eyes Are The Window To The Soul" is so true. It's almost as if you have transferred some of your...
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    Overwhelmed by PTSD Symptoms

    Here's a link to a really good book It talks about "survivor guilt" and does a good job of helping to understand why we suffer this. You DO deserve to survive -
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    Had a Bad Week - Old Police Partner Killed

    Hey Terry, a big pat on the back for you seeking the psych help at this difficult time for you! Avail yourself to the Department Chaplain or whoever you feel most comfortable with. And you very well may want to discuss with them the option of taking some additional days off to get a break...
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    Not Missing Someone - Problem From PTSD?

    Hey Dazed, I really like how you talk about forming your own boundaries in this relationship too. The unstable mindset of your husband is pretty normal, even without PTSD. Breaking off a relationship especially with kids involved is never easy. He's definitly doubting his decision and maybe...
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    Bachs Rescue Remedy?

    I use several of Bach's products. Not only on myself but on the dogs too LOL! The Rescue Remedy is good. I started out using it at home followed by a really quiet meditation session and paying close attention to what "relaxed" felt like. Then by association (like Pavlov's dog) I can now use...
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    Nightmares - Harming My Abuser

    I still do GR'ass! It seems the nightmares return vividly when I'm under stress. I begin by running from some unknown perpetrator and then it changes to where I am hunting him down. It's scary to feel that much pleasure and delight in a dream of hurting someone else. Although I don't have...
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    Need Support - Lost Son To Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)

    Hi Dottie and welcome to the forum- I'm glad that you have such a strong constitution. You acknowledge not only the lack of support in your life, but the toll George's death is taking on you personally. Many people faced with these brick walls would not be agreeable to counseling or the...
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    I Never Grieved After My Wife Died

    Hey Josh, I'm really sorry that you have suffered the loss of your wife. There is no hard and fast rule for "the proper time" to grieve. I'm really glad that you are now in a place to notice these oncoming emotions and are able to indentify the issue. It sounds like you are ready to get...
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    How Do You Folks Get To Sleep???

    Hey Ranger, I can totally identify with the circle of chronic pain, PTSD, insomnia, etc. Been there, done that, still have the crappy T-shirt. This is one of the hardest parts of my new self to come to grips with. I'm still trying different approaches after over 3 years, but I'll share...
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    My Introduction - Abused by Parents and Brothers

    WTF, welcome to the group! I hope you find lots of useful tools and a safe / creative outlet for this journey we all share. :walking:
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    Anxiety Triggers From Lawyers

    I think it's a good thing that you "blew up" to your attorney. He now has a first-hand experience of how stress can overwhelm you to the breaking point. Chalk that up as a positive thing. One of my favorite quotes, "Well behaved women seldom make history." :stupid:
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    Its A Boy

    What a strapping young lad! Hope Mom is doing well too. Hugs to baby Boo from big Boo LOL!
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    Really P***** Off - The Stress of Doctors

    I really hear how overwhelmed you are! I'm a list-maker, you may want to make a list of each doctor and what they are doing for you. Then just prioritize the issues. What health problems are top priority for you? It would also be helpful to share this list with the docs; so everyone will be...
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    Anxiety Triggers From Lawyers

    From my experience, make notes of key points you want to cover in a notebook. Put this in your purse so you won't forget. It's a great stress-reliever.
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    Extreme PTSD - Wife Has Unusual Symptoms From Head Injury

    Typically the second MRI is done around 6 months post and every 6-12 months from then on. The doctors will look for signs of continued bleeding or swelling. A neuro psych eval. done after 6 months post-injury can be an invaluable tool for identifying cognitive problems. Then a qualified...
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    I Can't Believe I Did This Tonight- Phone Call to Perpetrator's Home

    Kells, I think many of us have done that (I sure have)- and it is a great empowering feeling! I didn't think I would have the strength to do it in person, but I did have a "mad" moment years ago and called my dad. I told him I needed to talk, he was to listen and not interrupt me, and then I...
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    And The Hits Just Keep on Coming!

    Hey Marlene, thanks for your most recent post. You really put into words a lot of guilt and yucky feelings I've carried my whole life too. It was very helpful for me, and I appreciate you taking the time to do what must have been painful to put into words :tongue: . In your first post when...
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    Lexapro - Does it Make You Shallow?

    You know Gregg, your feeling of "shallowness" may be related to the meds or it may just be an amplification of your personality. If you were always a rather unattached person, the meds won't make you warm and fuzzy. Do you feel guilty about not being some kind of emotional mess when you got...
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    Brought To My Attention, My Story Not Public

    Wishing you a smooth ride as you get down to the last of the Xanax, Veiled! That's a particularly nasty one to get off. Do you have plans for any other med cuts after this? Hugs, Boo
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    Sick ‘N’ Tired of being Sick ‘N’ Tired –Gotta Get It Out!

    Dear GoingOnHope (love the name by the way!), A couple of things struck me from reading your recent posts. The incident of the cavalier attitude of someone being nearly beaten to death seems to be a big trigger for you. Make a note in your journal under the heading, "Triggers." Personal...