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Thanks guys... it's really helpful to have this validation from those who know best. Sometimes being in this situation can feel so isolating, you don't know which way is up!!

Thank you... I have been agonizing over this!! Appreciate your feedback.

Hi all, I've been with my EMDR therapist 3 years. I've picked up tools and become more stable but have a way to go still. Lately I've hit a wall with her. I went through a bad patch with my longterm boyfriend last year and felt like I needed her help with that, so she told me to bring him in...

Thank you Abstract. This makes sense, as he lived with his emotionally abusive and neglectful mom for 40 years before leaving home. Now that he is living on his own finally, if there a very tight deadline at his job, or if there is a heavy discussion about a crux point in our relationship, he...

Ok, thanks for the clarification :)

I know what you mean! Been there too. Well... my partner did do something pretty crappy that was similar to what my parents did. So he actually did owe me an apology ;) but I just found myself mowing him down anyway even though he was doing what he ought.

Hi all - Have you had this experience? I was telling my partner in therapy about something he did that upset me. The anger was massive because it was pulling in past traumas from my parents dismissing my needs, so I was feeling all of that come up, and had a flashback. During the flashback, my...

Hi all, I have CPTSD but have never had the symptom of panic attacks. However, my boyfriend, who sometimes sees my therapist along with me, does have panic attacks on a fairly regular basis. He doesn't express emotions well and then he'll have a panic attack down the line. He was raised with a...

Thanks so much Saffy for your thoughtful responses; I so appreciate it. Yes, there has been a lot of that sugar-coating throughout our relationship, and then actually talking about what is really going on can be super-charged because of that. There are some big fundamental issues with him that...

Thanks Saffy, so much. I am feeling guilty not for what I said, because it was all true and very honest, but maybe because I said it too soon before he was ready to hear it. One of the challenges is that I've been doing this therapy for 3 years and my therapist knows that there are big issues...

Ha ha. Love the texting business idea. Anyway, I have CPTSD but also was living with an NPD/PTSD guy for a long time and probably have secondary trauma from that. I took great pains to move on from that by going to drawing classes 3 nights a week where there was a bit of a social scene, and I...

Help. Couples therapy is bringing stuff out. I was able to get really direct with my boyfriend about some of the ways he was being during the cancer. I told him what I expected of him in a tough-love kind of way. I told him I wanted to be with someone who wanted to be self-aware and work on it...

In my experience, it's fine to have your partner go see your therapist by himself so that the therapist can provide support to him -- it's not that the therapist is being 'his therapist' - it's simply to provide insight on what's going on with you and to answer any questions. As long as it's all...

Hi Bilby - thank you. Yes, my partner has his own psychological issues that he is resistant to look at or address. Hoping couples therapy will help this somewhat, at least. My PTSD symptoms tend to trigger him into a regression, so that the result is two regressed people sitting there not able...

Thanks so much everyone for your well-articulated responses ;) This is so helpful. One important detail -- totally forgot to mention that he went through his own cancer experience before I met him. Which makes it even more confusing that my therapist had to walk him through what it was like to...

Thank you Saffy! Very helpful! That is a very good point - I can't empathize if I don't know what he is feeling. Wow. Ugh. Went to therapy w/him last night. Overall it was positive, but he commented that I was incredibly self-absorbed during the cancer diagnosis and treatment, which lasted...

Hi gang. I've been in EMDR/CPTSD therapy for almost 3 yrs. now. I've been with my partner for 8 years. We took a break when it became apparent I had some past trauma that needed addressing, but got back together a few months later. Over the last 8 months I have gone through some big stress...

Alien CPTSD girl here (raises hand). ;)

You're so right, prime-no! Yes, it's not just lopsided because of me ;) He is very kind, but can be overaccommodating and a bit self-suppressing, and has trouble asking for what he needs until some time after the fact. From a quantum physics perspective, it makes sense that we magnetized one...

Yes, sorry all - I meant in a partnership, yes, romantic - most of you presumed correctly. Maddog, I am where you're at. Thank you for the validation. I'm still learning and going through those moments of shock at my own behavior sometimes when he relays stories back to me where it's only then...

Hi all, I'm confronting the fact that I don't know if I have ever really been "in love" so much as more experiencing need fulfillment from what was missing in my childhood -- seeking out things like protection, support, etc. but I notice there are fragments of me that are very "needy" towards...

Thanks everyone - this is all so helpful. Yep - I can imagine inadvertently slagging off on the self-work during a long break, Hashi and that it would take a real commitment to stay disciplined as you were able to, Gizmo! Definitely something to consider... and having all options open is a...

Thank you so much, Noah. That must have been tough but it sounds like you did it/are able to hang with it. Bravo. I agree that seeing her every other week is starting to feel like a better idea than a total break, if she is willing. Hopefully 2 yrs of working together will make her more open...

Hi all, Financial stuff has come up for me that forced me to ask my T for a reduced rate. I figured out in my budget that the session fees can't be higher than a certain amount in order for me to continue. I know I have put her in a hard spot. We have worked together for 2 years and I have...

Totally agree -- would not want to be having recurring 'chit chat' type sessions. I think my T would not be willing to do that; she's pretty purpose and goal-oriented. I love the idea of spending a session talking about positive memories and things that make you feel secure. I think my T would...